Since I talked with family and this came up…

Yes?  I think we all need to take a deep breath and let it slowly out.

First off.  Many, many applause to my Excellent and wonderful Web Admin, 4Padfoot for her announcement this morning.  I talked with her at 7:30 before I left the house for my day with GrandmaKitty.  I not only agreed and fully support her, I offered my help in any way.

So yes, there is a vote happening over at the You Want Blood Awards.  And since one of the things people mentioned is to let their readers know, I am letting you guys know.  I am hoping I am still on on the ballot, and if not, please still vote.  If I am on, please consider me.  If you want your voice heard, you need to speak up for the 24 hours it will be open.

For those who only care about the Heavenly Chapter, here is it.  This is a chapter length post.

I also wish to thank each and every one of my group on Facebook.  You people rock my socks.  Seriously.  And then there are you people.  Who listened to my request not to allow the fires of this burn higher.  I needed to say what I did, and you guys read it.  The ladies in my facebook group turned to that place and left me so many loving messages, it truly brought me to tears.  Good ones.

Before I tell you anything else, I will tell you what I told my ladies.  I will say do NOT react until you read the whole thing:

Thank you to everyone who has left a message. Truly. And thank you for posting it here, not on the post and feeding this…well whatever you want to call it.

Here is the truth. I feel like there is no reason for me to work hard for a fandom who does this to a few people who tried so hard.

I will finish what I started. I will host this months and next months writing contest and evaluate from there the responses.

Right now, with 4padfoot stepping back, I see no reason to work on the database I was compiling for readers. Frankly, without her, I am unsure if it will go on. Hopefully, if she comes back, we will reevaluate if it is worth all the time we are putting into it. (which is will, already talked about)

I will reevaluate the responses to my reviews for the non canon awards. I already did the work for weeks ahead.

Needless to say I’m gun shy right now at the thought of another contest, but to be blunt, it won’t really involve this fandom, so if we get the site up and running, I will think on it.

I will publish anything the betas have done.

What I am not doing is writing any Fanfiction for awhile. I’m going to work on my novel. Hopefully my muse will agree to work with me. She is busy right now trying to remind me that my faith in humanity is good.

So thanks. Truly. For the support you are showing us. It means so much right now.

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Then to more responses from the above, I wrote this:

Oh I’m not giving up Fanfiction. MistressJessica1028, 4Padfoot, Meridian, Bertie Bott, Mommy4Thomas, Harleen Frances Quinzel, Royal Ember, MissRissa82, and so many more would come hunt me down. And crap, every single one of those ladies have my real address.

This (fanfiction) helps me. What I am reevaluating is my extra stuff I do. But then, a nice review over on the YWB reminded me that the writing contests help writers so much.

And it makes me feel good as MistressJessica1028 and Meridian reminded me. Why give up things that make me happy?

Then there is M as he wishes to be called. He told me I wouldn’t last a week without throwing my heart into it all again. And as I pointed out (to the above-mentioned ladies in a private talk), I give second chances, since without them, M and I wouldn’t be together now. If that isn’t incentive enough. (I was reminded tonight it is 13 years.  Monday.  Yes, Monday.)

So, yes, I’m giving everyone second chances. If you blow that, then no more. Am I going to trust you a 100%? Sadly no. But then I didn’t trust M either.

I am also thinking if I was on the other side. What if I ducked up. (And still autocorrect fixes it. Duck…. Ugh f first!!). What if I put my foot in my mouth? Would I want a second chance?

Yes.

But I would not expect not to (have to) earn the trust back.

So I’m off. I’ll catch you guys on the flip and hope I get more than 3 hours. 🙂

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The ladies in my group came together to convince me, but stood behind any decisions I made.  Then there was all the awesome comments on the YWB site.  There was a comment (and sorry I can’t remember who said it) but mentioned the writing contests specifically as a way to find new authors, and it made me realize that there was good in what I do.

Faith in humanity restored.

It takes so little.  I truly want to believe in the faith of humanity and that I do make a difference in this fandom.  I am human.  Who wouldn’t want to know their hard work was being appreciated?

I am letting the water go by under the bridge.  It won’t ever be forgotten.  Ask M.  I remember things from 1994 when we first started to date and use it against him now.  That same brain that brings in all those weird facts and make them work in the stories?  Yeah there is a reason for it.  But I will let this all float down the river to the back of the brain.  I hate being upset.  Especially that way, it makes things so much worse since I am not good with stress.

This way, I am hoping the fandom does as 4Padfoot suggested, and get back to the way things were that made this such an AWESOME fandom.

People, we are fighting an uphill battle.  We are losing some of our greats, one retired just last week.  They are disheartened by the way things ended.  I can’t blame them.  We were screwed out of our HEA.  But then, lets think positively.  We are one of the biggest Non-Canon Fandoms out there.  Period.  If you write Sookie with anyone BUT Sam, for SVM, you are non-canon.  If you write Sookie with anyone but weird stranger dude, you are non-canon.

And then there is that whole SVM/TB crossover.  It is SOO hard to tell the difference.  I know since I was guessing that the whole Nevada thing would come around in TB, so I added it in for ITE.  Now it is considered a crossover.  (wow, I think so far, that AIW is now my only fic in TB world by the rules!)  It IS hard to tell.  How do I tell?  If your story has Godric as Eric’s maker it is TB.  If it has Tara as a vamp, it is TB.  If Lafayette is alive, TB.  Russell a bad guy with Talbot?  TB.  The Authority?  yeah you get the idea.  Now if you have Andre in it, SVM.  Appius (Meridian has a name much more preferred for him) SVM.

Yeah you get the idea.  But these two fandoms are so tied together, it aint funny.  We truly are one fandom.

ONE

FANDOM

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1

Do I support those that write in SVM as much as I do TB?  Heck yeah!

I am rambling, but I am trying to make a point.  We need to pull together.  I have tons of ideas.  For stories.  For other things, but then I will not be me.

So what do you need to do?   Do as Robin suggested.  Write a note on someone’s story saying Eric sent you. Or Godric.  Whichever you prefer.  I don’t think Godric will mind.  He would give you that smile of his and silently approve.

Readers, here is your chance to shine.  Hit that Like button.  Leave a review button.  Our stories helped you out in a bad spot?  Leave a note.  Make it known to us that you are around.  We have many newbies in the fandom who don’t do what those of us do that have been around.  We look at stats.  They need that encouraging review.  If it had not been for my fandom I started out in, I would not have stuck around long here, but I enjoyed the atmosphere.  And I freaking STILL fangirl when one of the writers tell me anything.  Shoot, California Kat contacted me to ask what I was building with the information I collected, and I freaking jumped around the room dancing.  Then I did more dancing when she said she READ what I had said.

So yes, we all have fangirl moments.  Shoot, Angela helping me out made me almost hyperventilate.  I felt that that skit on Saturday night live?

Yeah that one.  I was not worthy!

I know I don’t reply unless there is a question.  There is a very good reason.  I get reviews on many stories.  When I used to reply, since you couldn’t copy and paste them in Fanfiction.net, (face it there is only so many ways to say thank you.  And I will update when I get the chance.) it would take me a day for ED.  And I do so many more than that.  I think you guys would rather me write.  I do now go through and like each and everyone that you guys leave on my site now, to show you I do read them.  I also, ALWAYS read them and if there are questions, try to email them to you with the email my site provides you if they are spoilery.  If not, I try to respond in the comments.

Also, I would like to tell you guys, if you follow me in Facebook, and write something to me outside the group, tag me.  Put it in my wall.  And if I STILL don’t answer you, PM me.  I got close to 200 notifications today.  Things get lost.  From what I understand that was part of the issue.  I DO read everything in my group.  It is why Mondays are such a rush since I have a day gone away from the computer to catch up.  So either post int he group, or try to get my attention.  MY name tagged means I get an email.  Though I have 166 of them today, (you guys were VERY busy!!) I go through them, each and everyone of them to make sure what is there.  And then my OCD kicks in and I work them.

I am now off to bed, and plan tomorrow to work online, but remember, M controls the FRiday, Saturday and Sundays.  They are his to do with, and with it being our anniversary weekend, it may not happen.  Depends on how he feels.

But I did get something to cheer me up.  This past weekend, I put to bed my hope for Morgan’s return.  I told my grandma about it, and she managed to get with my cousin.  So when I was there dropping her off, I was offered a new kitten.

It (since it is too young to be determined what sex it is) is 4 weeks old.  I have to wait for four more weeks for the newest edition to the family.  The back of it is grey a light grey.  They wanted me to see the face to understand the white and black stripes on it.  It has been handled since day one, with mama’s permission.  Who could not be in a happier mood with that face?!?!?  or the fact that it is mine now?  I am so much happier and this has been an awesome gift.

Yes I will keep you up to date on it.  Soon, the house will be full of animals, and I cannot wait.  I love dogs, but there is something about a cat that also calls to me.  Maybe the curiosity that earned me the nickname from my grandfather?

Enjoy the chapter, and guys, seriously thanks for rocking my socks with your support.