The Twelve Days of Christmas By LilGray


Wednesday, December 14, 2005


It’s been almost exactly twelve weeks since the Cullen’s abandoned Bella to ‘save’ her.  It’s been just over eleven weeks since I got fed up with being blamed for almost killing Bella and left the Cullen’s behind and it’s been just over nine weeks since Bella went to Port Angeles with her friends and never returned.

When I left the Cullen’s in Alaska, I decided to hunt down Victoria and end her before she got any wild ideas in her head about killing Bella.  Peter, Charlotte and I spent the better part of eleven weeks hunting the bitch down.

When we finally caught up to her three days ago, she informed me that she had kidnapped and drained Bella before dumping her in the ocean.  I spent the last three days torturing her before ending her mere minutes ago.

Three days of pain isn’t much considering the years Bella will never get to live, but I felt compelled to end her once and for all today, so I did.  My only regret, or the main one anyway, is that we didn’t find her until after she had kidnapped and killed Bella.  Victoria paid for that with her life, but it’s honestly too little too late.  We should have hunted her down and ended her as soon as we killed James, but Edward insisted that it wasn’t an issue.

I’m tempted to call the ass and tell him all I’ve learned of Bella’s final night on this earth.  On the one hand, Emo-ward deserves to know the pain his inadequacies caused.  On the other hand, I don’t think Bella would want him to know.

While I walk away from the bonfire in Peter and Charlotte’s backyard that is currently turning Victoria to ash, I decide not to tell the ass.

Now I just want to shower, get the stench of Victoria off of me, change my clothes, and then wallow in my misery and inadequacies while doing my best to ignore the fact that it’s the Christmas Season and Bella will never celebrate Christmas again.

Walking into my bedroom, I stop short at the lit Christmas Tree in the corner that was not there when I left the room four days ago.  There are red and white ornaments, and white lights strewn all over it and strings of popcorn are draped over the branches.

Sniffing the air, I don’t smell anyone in the room which is odd because I should be able to detect the fading scent of whoever left the tree and the wrapped gift laying beneath the tree.  Walking to the tree, I lift the rather heavy package and bring it to my nose, but other than the scent of an old book I still can’t smell anyone.

I walk to my desk and place the gift down on it before slowly opening the wrapping paper.  When the paper is gone, I see a card resting on what looks to be a bible.  How odd.

Picking up the card I read, “On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me… One family treasure.  Jasper, I found this in my travels.  I’m pretty sure it’s your family’s Bible because you’re listed in the births and deaths, and the dates match up with what I know of your history.  Here’s to never forgetting who we were.  Merry Christmas.”

Picking up the bible I open the cover and look at the title page.  It says, “Whitlock Family Bible.”  Beneath that in curly cursive is the inscription, “Begun by Ernesta Whitlock upon her marriage to Winston Whitlock.”

I flip the page, and sure enough, Ernesta and her husband’s births and their wedding date are the first three entries.  Their marriage is listed as June 28, 1637.

Flipping through I scan the names and dates until I come across Jasper Alexander Whitlock II, born July 28, 1843.  Skimming down a few more entries I come to Major Jasper Alexander Whitlock II, died March 15, 1863.

Running my finger along the name below my first listing I struggle to bring forth a face to go with my younger brother’s name.   I only remember that Jeremy had eyes the color of the clearest sky and hair the color of fresh straw.  My sister May-Sue I have an easier time remembering and I can clearly see her heart-shaped face, warm hazel eyes, and bouncy blonde curls in my mind.

I drag my finger to my parent’s entries and see that my father died in September of 1889 and my mother died in April of 1906.

There is a knock on my door so looking up I call out, “Come in.”

Charlotte opens the door and enters the room before telling me, “The bitch is nothing but ash now.  I figured you’d want to know as soon as she was permanently dead.”

I just nod in response while I stare at the page of my family’s bible without actually seeing the words on the page.

Charlotte turns to leave but stops and tilts her head to the side before asking, “When did you get a tree?”

Frowning I tell her, “It was in here when I got back.  You or Peter didn’t bring it in here?”

She shakes her head and says, “No, we didn’t.”

I kind of figured that so I nod and then tell her, “It came with a gift,” then I hold up the bible in my hands.

She comes closer and asks, “Is that—”

I finish her sentence for her, “The Whitlock Family Bible, yes.”

Frowning she cocks her head to the side again and then says, “Huh, who could have possibly left you that?”

Shaking my head, I tell her, “I have no idea, but it’s all they left.  I detect no scent of anyone other than me and now you.”

She sniffs the air and then nods slowly before she asks, “Was there a note with it or anything?”

Nodding I hand her the note.  She reads it and then she bounces on her toes and says, “Oh, on the first day of Christmas…” She holds up her hand and ticks off her fingers while mouthing numbers before she finishes her thought out loud, “Christmas is twelve days away.  I bet you’ll get more gifts from your Secret Santa.”

Laughing at her enthusiasm, I just say, “We’ll see.”


Thursday, December 15, 2005


Stepping out of the shower I grab my towel and dry off before wrapping the towel around my waist and stepping out of my bathroom into my bedroom.  Walking towards the dresser, I stop mid-step when I see two boxes under the tree that were not there when I went into the bathroom.

Quickly throwing on some jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt I pick up the two boxes and bring them to my desk.  Inhaling, I again don’t smell anyone, so I sniff the boxes.  Still nothing, which is odd because the contents of the boxes should carry some sort of odor.

There is a card on one of the boxes, so I open it and read, “On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

Laughing I open the box the card was taped to and pull out two bottles of custom-made cologne.  Opening one bottle my senses are flooded with the scent of wet leaves, and moss and memories of the forest in Forks fill my mind.  The last time I was in that forest was three days after Bella disappeared.  I had been circling her house and the neighboring woods for more than two days straight hoping and praying that Bella would return safe and sound, but she never did.

Opening my eyes and trying to ward off the memories of that week I close the bottle and then tilt it so I can read the label on it, “The Forest in Forks.”

Putting the bottle on the desk, I pick up the other bottle and open the cap, hmm, cloves.  Chuckling I think back on a trip Edward, Bella, Alice and I took to Port Angeles the Summer before we left and life went to hell.  We had passed a man smoking a clove cigarette, and Bella asked, “Does that smell as good to you as it does to me or does it just smell like death to you?”

I chuckled and told her, “Clove cigarettes are the only ones that don’t smell like shit.  Granted they don’t smell good per say but they definitely smell better than regular cigarettes.  I love the scent of cloves, though, so that might be why I can look past the scent of all those burning chemicals.”

I remember the look on Bella’s face when I finished speaking.  Her expressive chocolate brown eyes were round and wide open, and her mouth was forming a little ‘o.’

Smiling I asked, “What?  You asked.”

Giggling she nodded slowly but said, “I know I just don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk so much outside of our Art History class.”

I laughed at that and Edward added, “All cigarettes smell horrible to me.”

Alice nodded and said, “I agree,” and the moment of camaraderie with Bella was lost.

Closing the second bottle, I tilt it slightly and read the label, “Not Shit,” which causes me to laugh again.

After I settle down, I pick up the second box, which has the number 1 on it and I unwrap it.  Opening the shirt-box, I find a blanket and a card.  I open the card and read, “This was in a box of things Marked “Jasper” at the estate sale I bought your bible at.  Near as I can tell this is the baby blanket your mother’s mother made when she found out her daughter was expecting you.  May we always remember those who have come and gone.”

Setting the card down on the desk I pick up the blanket and look at it.  It’s a soft light green color, probably because back then doctors had no way of knowing the sex of an unborn baby until it was born.  Bringing it to my nose, I inhale and remember a stormy night.  I couldn’t have been more than four or five.  I was in my bed cuddling the blanket tightly and when the lightning outside the window flashed and the thunder boomed I let out a little whimper.  The bedroom door opened and my grandmother came into the room carrying a candle.  “It’s just a storm, Jasper.  It can’t hurt you,” she said before sitting down on my bed beside me.  I remember quickly crawling into her lap.  Struggling I recall her wrinkled face and her soft blue eyes that were illuminated by the yellow glow of the candle.  Closing my eyes again I remember the warmth and safety I found in her arms and how quickly I fell asleep in her embrace despite the storm still raging outside.

Opening my eyes, I inhale once more and then gently fold the blanket before lying it across the foot of my bed.  Then I walk back to my desk, and after sitting down, I open my journal and write down the memories my gifts have evoked, not just today, but yesterday as well.


Friday, December 16, 2005


Once again when I exit the bathroom in a cloud of steam, I notice boxes under the tree.  Quickly dressing I almost bounce in place while I pull on my long sleeve t-shirt.

I force myself to take my time while walking to the tree before sitting down and looking at the three boxes.  They each have a number on them so guessing that I should start with the highest number I open the box marked #3 and find a card and three wrapped packages inside.

With a smile on my face that I haven’t felt there for months I read, “On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

Smiling wider I unwrap the packages revealing three leather-bound journals, one black, one a reddish brown and one a beautiful Tawney color.

Putting the journals aside I open the box with the number 2 on it to reveal two more bottles.  The first one says “Lunch,” on the label and when I open the cap, I’m hit with the scent of a freshly bitten apple just like I smelt at school every day when Bella ate her daily apple.  She once told me, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, and I need all the help I can get.”

The second bottle smells of strawberries, and as I inhale, I’m bombarded with the memory of my siblings and I picking and eating the juicy red berries off my father’s strawberry plants.  We used to eat half of what we picked, and we’d be stuffed to the gills and sticky by the time our baskets were full enough to bring to our mother.  Smiling I recall my father ruffling my hair and asking us, “My little mischief makers smell of freshly eaten berries.  Did you leave any for your mother to make her pies with?”

Smiling at the previously forgotten memory, I tilt the bottle and read the label, “Little Mischief Makers.”  Laughing I wonder how anyone could have known that when I didn’t even recall the memory until just now.

Shaking my head at the mystery of it all I set aside the second bottle and pick up the last box.  Opening it, I frown before I take what looks to be a christening gown out of the box.  There is also a card, a partially burnt candle, and a framed photograph in the bottom of the box.

I open the card and read, “This is your christening gown and the candle used in the ceremony.  There is also a photograph of you and your parents from that day in August of 1843.”

Picking up the photo I look at the people in it.  My parents are wearing broad smiles and look like a happy young couple who just welcomed their first child.

There is a knock on the door of my bedroom, so I say, “Come in, Peter.”

Sticking his head in the doorway, he smiles when he sees me sitting on the floor surrounded by torn wrapping paper.  He steps into the room and asks, “What did your Secret Santa bring you this time?”

I show him my goodies, but I frown when he says, “She’s not playing around is she?”

I’m standing mere inches from his face before his words even finish crossing his lips.  He doesn’t show his surprise at my sudden movement and just holds up his hands in a “whoa” gesture and says, “I don’t know who Santa is, Major, only that she doesn’t mean the three of us any harm, far from it in fact.  Oh and I’m pretty sure she is what my spidey sense was talking about when I told you to come home from Forks, and it’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to.”

He told me that three days after Bella disappeared.  He said there was nothing we could do for her, but I should come home and let things play out.  He assured me then that things would work out the way they were meant to and that I would ultimately be pleased with the outcome.

The only way I’ll be pleased with the outcome is if Bella is still somehow alive so frowning I ask, “Do you think Victoria lied and she didn’t kill Bella?  I mean I should have been able to detect a lie, but this is something Bella would do.  Is it possible that Victoria’s conviction that she killed Bella was a well-placed ruse?  And if it was what was the purpose of her lying about it.  She knew we were going to kill her so why lie?”

Peter places his hand on my shoulder and says, “I honestly don’t know, but one thing to consider is that by telling you that Bella was dead you lost all hope.  Maybe her point was to make you suffer even if only for a little while.  Kind of a ‘make you feel what I’ve felt since my mate died’ kind of thing.”

I nod and tell him, “That makes sense because I’ll be honest, if my Secret Santa isn’t Bella then I’m clueless as to who it might be.  I mean the apple scent is labeled ‘Lunch’ and Bella ate an apple every day for lunch.  And the ‘Not Shit’ Scent refers to something I told Bella last summer.  Now granted Edward and Alice were both there when I said it, but I can’t see either one of them doing this, not for me at least.”

Peter nods and smiles gently before telling me, “No, I can’t see them doing this either.  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.  Only nine more days before what I assume will be the big reveal.”

Sighing, I nod and then watch as he silently leaves the room before picking up one of my new journals and walking to my desk.  Sitting down I begin to transfer what I wrote in my old journal yesterday to the new one I just got, and then I pour my worries, uncertainties, and regrets onto the empty pages of my new book before going out to get some dinner.

When I first realized that Victoria was an issue and needed to be killed sooner rather than later I began an experiment.  I knew I needed to be as strong as possible because it would just be Peter, Charlotte, and myself dealing with Victoria, so I started feeding off of the criminal element in the nearby city.  I found that the emotional aspect of feeding on innocent humans that always depressed me doesn’t come into play with criminals.  Therefore I can feed on humans without the unrelenting guilt and depression.

Even though Victoria is dead now, I feel like drinking human blood gives me more control, not just over my bloodlust but also over my own emotions and my empathy, so I head to the downtown area to find me a criminal or two to slake my thirst on.


Saturday, December 17, 2005


As has become a habit, when I exit the bathroom after my morning shower my eyes dart over to the lit Christmas Tree and the wrapped packages beneath it that weren’t there ten minutes ago.  I still don’t know how someone is sneaking into Peter and Charlotte’s house undetected, but I figure I probably need to wait until the 25th to finally get some real answers.

This time there are four boxes, one of which stands about waist high.  That box has the number 4 on it, and a card is taped to the top.

I pull the card off and just before I can open it there is a knock on my door.  I can sense Peter and Charlotte’s curiosity and excitement through the door so smiling I say, “Come in, you’re just in time.”

They hurry into the room, and both sit down beside the tree.  They both appear to be vibrating they’re so excited.  Laughing I tell them, “You do know the gifts are for me not you, right?”

They both nod deeply but still acting like they’re the ones getting presents they make hurry-up motions with their hands.

Chuckling I tell them, “Okay, okay,” before opening the card and reading it out loud, “On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

I hand the card over to a still bouncing Charlotte and open the box.  Laughing I pull out a guitar-shaped package and pull off the wrapping paper to reveal a very nice Gibson acoustic guitar.

Charlotte claps and bounces some more while saying, “Yay!  I used to love listening to you play.”

I nod.  I used to love playing the guitar, but after the fifth time that Emmett managed to smash my guitar to smithereens with his roughhousing, I just gave up.  Given that Edward was very particular about who touched, never mind played, any of his instruments it’s been decades since I last played with any amount of regularity.

Thinking back over all of my conversations with and around Bella I can’t ever recall indicating I can play.  Frowning I put the guitar and my confusing thoughts aside to deal with later and reach into the box for another gift.  This one is in a good-sized wrapped box, so I tear off the paper and open the box.

My jaw drops when my eyes land on the beautiful black Stetson Cowboy Hat.  I perch it on top of my head and smile at Peter and Charlotte before telling them, “Now I’m really clueless.  I thought for sure Bella had somehow survived and was behind this, but she had no knowledge of me playing the guitar or my former propensity for wearing cowboy hats.”

Charlotte coughs and says, “Damn Pixie” in between coughs.

Chuckling I nod and tell her, “Yes, Alice talked me out of wearing them.  However, the point is she did that in the mid-1980’s probably even before Bella was born and Alice never talked about it and would get really upset if I ever mentioned my preference for cowboy hats.  Therefore, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no way Bella knew.  It’s not something I ever told her, and no one else in that family would have brought it up for fear of pissing off Alice, so it never came up in any conversations around Bella.”

They both nod, but it’s Charlotte who reminds me, “Only eight more days and then this mystery should be solved.”

Nodding I take out two smaller boxes and open them to reveal a toy motorcycle and a toy car that match the two life-sized versions I own and have sitting in the garage at this very moment.  Sighing I show them the toys and tell them, “I only got the bike last month so it can’t be Bella.  She’d have no way of knowing about it.”

Peter grins and says, “Eight days, My Friend, eight days.”

Sighing again, I nod and then placing the toys on the ground I open the box marked #3 to find three cloth and board journals in grey, blue, and red.  There is a typed note taped to the grey one that says, “Cloth and board because I just discovered that leather stinks as it ages.”

I laugh at that and hand the note to Peter before saying, “It’s got to be another vampire, and a new one at that, because a human wouldn’t notice the smell and a seasoned vampire would already know that leather smells as it ages.  Plus, I still don’t smell anyone other than you and me in here, so it’s got to be a vampire with a gift that allows them to mask their scent.”

They both nod before Charlotte hands me the box with the #2 on it.  Unwrapping and opening it, I find two more bottles of custom-made cologne.  I laugh when I read the two labels, “Hotel Smell,” and “New Car Smell.”

Peter laughs too when I hand them to him but asks, “Since I’m pretty sure this is a joke and not an indication that you should smell like a new car, what’s the significance?”

Shrugging I tell them both, “The only thing I can think of is when Alice, Bella, and I drove to Arizona to avoid James.  Bella made comments about Carlisle’s car having that new car smell and then she complained about the hotel smell and how it would permeate all of her clothes.”

They nod so I open the last box, which is at least twice the size and width of a shirt box.  Inside I find a photograph in a frame.  Taking it out I gasp when I realize what I’m holding.  Peter and Charlotte lean in, and Peter asks, “What is it?”

I turn it so they can see and tell them, “My father insisted that we needed to have a family portrait taken.  This was, hmm, probably two months before I left for the war.  How did Santa find this?  This is one of the few memories I carried with me into my vampire life.  I’ve broken into the photographer’s house, the houses of his children and the houses of the descendants of my siblings looking for a copy of this photo with no luck.  And this frame looks exactly like the one my mother picked out and hung in her sitting room.”

Shaking my head, I sit back and consider everything my Secret Santa has given to me and realize I’m no closer to having my answers.

Just before Peter and Charlotte leave the room, Peter leans down and whispers in my ear, “Just eight more days and then everything will be revealed.”

Laughing I tell him, “It better be, or I’m going to be mighty upset with Santa.”

He just laughs at me before pulling my bedroom door closed behind himself.


Sunday, December 18, 2005


I thought I’d be sneaky and jam Santa up so I took my shower last night before midnight and then stayed in my room all night, but ten minutes ago I heard a crash out in the living room, so I went to investigate.  Turns out Santa inspired Peter to get into the festive celebration, so he decided to put up a tree of his own.  The crash I heard was it falling over while he tried to put it in the tree stand.  Laughing I helped him and then returned to my room to see that Santa used my distraction to leave me my five gifts.

I don’t know how I feel about that because that means Santa is watching me closely enough to know when I’ve stepped out of my bedroom for a few minutes.  Still, I laugh and call out, “Santa came.”

I laugh harder when Peter and Charlotte almost get stuck in my bedroom doorway when they both try to move through it at the same time.

When they’ve seated themselves in front of the tree, I take the card off of the fifth box and open it.  Reading out loud I say, “On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Five books to read, Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

Handing the card to Charlotte I open the box marked #5 and pull out five books:

  1. How the South Could Have Won the Civil War: The Fatal Errors That Led to Confederate Defeat by Bevin Alexander
  2. Robert E. Lee’s Civil War by Bevin Alexander
  3. Lost Victories: The Military Genius of Stonewall Jackson by Bevin Alexander
  4. Such Troops as These: The Genius and Leadership of Confederate General Stonewall Jackson by Bevin Alexander
  5. Sun Tzu at Gettysburg: Ancient Military Wisdom in the Modern World by Bevin Alexander

After I’ve unwrapped each book and read the title, I hand them to Peter who reads the titles and then says, “Well, you do love to read about the Civil War.”

I nod and tell him, “I have a list of books I want to read, and all five of these are on that list.”

Peter sits up straight and asks, “Really, you have an actual list?”

Getting up I walk over to my bookshelf and take out one of my old journals.  Opening it to the correct page, I bring it over to him and show him, “I do.  See there are the five books I just received. They’re numbers three through seven on my list.”

Peter nods and asks, “Numbers one and two are crossed off?”

Nodding back I tell them, “I bought the first one about a month ago, and then I bought the second one… last… week… there is no way anyone could have known that.  You live with me, and you didn’t even know that.

Peter just grins and tells me, “My spidey sense says it’s a gift of hers, knowing things, or part of her gift anyway.  Not like my gift or even Alice’s.  I think this gift is more knowing the past.  So like once you bought the book she could know it if she thought to look for it because it had already happened.  Whereas Alice would have seen you decide to buy the book and know that way and I, well, my gift might or might not have given me a feeling that you had bought the book… my gift is a fickle bitch so no guarantee there, but I think Alice and Santa’s gifts are more definitive.  Santa’s more so than Alice’s because Alice’s visions change as people change their minds.  Once something actually happens, like say you made a purchase then Santa would know, and that won’t change.  You might send the book back to the seller, but she wouldn’t know that until you did it and both things would still be true, you bought the book, and you returned the book.  See what I’m saying?”

I nod and tell him, “I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a vampire with that ability.  I hadn’t even thought it was a possibility so I’ve definitely never met anyone who could do that.  Although I suppose it makes sense, Alice sees the future, and Santa apparently sees the past, which would explain how she’s managed to give me all of my family’s treasures.  She would have been able to see what happened to each item and known where to look for them.”

Peter nods and says, “Makes sense.  Well, that’s one question answered and like a thousand more to go.”

I laugh at that and open the next box.  Inside are four more boxes each about a foot long, maybe eight inches high and a foot and a half wide.  Unwrapping the first box, I chuckle because in my hand is a Lego model of Fork’s High School.

Charlotte leans closer and asks, “What is that?”

Still laughing, I tell her, “It’s a model of the high school where I met Bella.”

She nods, so I nod back and set the model on the floor and pick up the next box.  I open it and take out another perfect Lego model.

This time it’s Peter who asks, “Is that—”

I nod and finish his sentence, “The Cullen’s home in Forks.”

Handing the house to Peter I open the next one to find a Lego model of the hotel Alice, Bella, and I stayed at in Arizona.

Setting it on the ground, I pull out the last model which is the Dance Studio where we killed James.  After I explain the significance of the final two models, Peter smiles and says, “Maybe it is Bella.”

Shaking my head, I tell him, “I’ve been over every second I spent with Victoria before we killed her.  She wasn’t lying when she said she killed Bella.  I would have felt her deceit if she were lying through her teeth.”

I want to believe it’s Bella, that she somehow managed to survive, but I refuse to get my hopes up.  The let down when I discover it’s not her would be too profound.  Still, Peter isn’t on the same page as me, so he bolsters my hope by telling me, “Maybe she only told a little fib.  We already established that Santa is a Vampire, and likely a new one, for that matter.  If Victoria turned Bella, she technically killed her to do it.  So she totally could have told the truth that she killed Bella and just left out the part where Bella got back up and walked away from the whole ordeal.”

I narrow my eyes and really think about that possibility before asking, “But if that’s the case then why has it taken months for Bella to contact me or anyone really and even if it is her why would Bella contact me and not Edward?”

Charlotte is the one with an answer waiting on the deck, “Maybe the information we got about her gift is the answer to that.  You said you could feel that Edward loved her blood more than he loved her.  Plus, he left her, all alone, with a psycho vampire mate out there hunting her.  You, on the other hand, only left because you were forced to and the first chance you got you came back and guarded her.  If we’re right about her gift, then she knows that the only reason you didn’t follow her to Port Angeles like you had followed her everywhere else was that Alice called to finalize the details of your divorce.  If she knows what’s happened in the past, then she knows what all of you did or didn’t do.  Answer me something.  Don’t think about the answer first just say the first word that pops into your head.”

I nod, so she asks, “Do you love Bella?”

I nod and say, “Yes.”

She smiles, and sucker punches me with her next question, “Are you in love with Bella?”

The answer hits me over the head, “Yes. I am, totally and completely.   I think I have been for a while.”

Charlotte nods and says, “I think so too.  And if we’re right about Santa’s gift then Santa knows that too.  I know it’s the way the song is written, but you seem to be forgetting that the lyric says, ‘On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…’  My true love.  These gifts are, in my womanly opinion, Santa’s way of telling you that she loves you.  Now if we’re right then it’s Bella, which I think is more likely because if it isn’t Bella, then Santa would know in advance that she’s setting herself up for rejection and setting you up for further heartbreak.  By definition, a woman in love wouldn’t do that to the man she loves, not if she could help it at least.”

Peter nods and says, “What she said.”

Laughing I nod back and then Charlotte hands me the box with the number 3 on it.  Smiling slightly I open it and find three more cloth and board journals, in forest green, burnt orange and black this time.

I put the journals down and pick up the next box.  Opening it, I reach in and pull out two more bottles of the custom-cologne.  The first bottle reads, “The Underdog of Flowers.”  The second bottle is labeled “Little Mischief Makers II.”

I open the bottle marked ‘The Underdog of Flowers’ already knowing what I will smell so I’m not surprised when I take a deep breath, and the scent of fresh cut daisies hits my nose.

Laughing I tell them, “This one time, Alice and Edward were talking to Bella about flowers; specifically what flowers she wanted for the prom she had no intention of going to.  She finally got fed up arguing about going so she just told Alice, ‘My favorite flower is the Daisy.  It’s simple and understated, and the whole world overlooks them for more showy flowers.  They’re the underdogs of the flower world.”

Peter and Charlotte are smiling while I tell the story and I’m grinning too, but my chest is tight, and my eyes are scratchy with tears I can never shed.

Taking another deep breath, I let it out slowly through my nose then I put the bottle down on the floor and open the other one suspecting what this one will be of too.  I barely open the cap before Charlotte moans and says, “Yum, Raspberries.”

I chuckle and close my eyes while my mind flashes on a fleeting memory of my brother and sister and I spending whole days eating the juicy little morsels off the raspberry bushes behind the barn.   We’d come back to the house with berries all over our faces.  I couldn’t have been more than six or seven in the memory.

Smiling I put the cap back on and then hand the bottle to Charlotte who sniffs the closed container and says, “One of the few foods I miss are raspberries.  I assume the name of the scent is a reference to the same story you told for the strawberry scent of your father calling you and your siblings his little mischief makers?”

I nod and tell her, “Anytime we got into things, particularly food, we weren’t supposed to get into he’d call us that.”

She giggles and nods, “I envy you and your memories of your family.  Not in a bad way.  I’m happy you have them and are apparently getting more of them, but I wish I could remember little things like that.”

Nodding I reach over and pull her into a hug before telling her, “If we’re right about Santa and her gift maybe she can help you regain some of your family memories too.”

She smiles and nods before pulling away.  I pick up the last box.  It’s small like the kind you find a necklace in.  Opening it I discover a little card that has a typed message, “This looks like the locket your mother always wore.  I found it at the estate sale and near as I can tell it was worn by Bertha Whitlock until the day she died in 1906.  Her youngest and only surviving son, Jeremy, gave it to his wife the following Christmas and it was passed down from daughter to daughter until Jessica Mayweather died in November without any children of her own.  Her nieces and nephews sold it to me.  I don’t know how much you remember of your mother, but I thought you might like to have this little piece of her.”

I can feel the venom tickling my eyes again with tears that will never fall before I move the card aside and gaze at the locket I’m certain belonged to my mother.  An image of my mother lying in bed with Mary-Sue in her arms nursing pops into my head, and I smile as I remember my father giving my mother this locket two days after my sister was born.  He only waited the two days so he could get it engraved on one side with a heart around his and my mother’s initials and the other side has mine, Jeremy’s, and Mary-Sue’s initials engraved inside a heart.

Gently I open the locket and smile when I see a little photo of my parents on one side and a tiny version of the family portrait from yesterday on the other side.

Peter and Charlotte quietly leave me to my memories only stopping to gently pat me on the shoulder or in Charlotte’s case give me a quick peck on the cheek before exiting the room.

I carry the locket over to my desk, sit down, open one of my new journals that I’ve been writing my thoughts and memories in and I simply write, “Dear God, please let my Secret Santa be Bella.  I would do anything for it to be her.”


Monday, December 19, 2005


I spent all last night and all day in my room silently praying for Bella to still be alive and my Secret Santa.  By 6 p.m. I can feel my thirst gnawing at the back of my throat because I haven’t fed since two nights after I killed Victoria.  Sighing I get up and go out to the garage before hopping on my bike and speeding into the city.  I make quick work of finding two men who were in the process of attacking a woman.  I fed on both of them and then after I cleaned up the scene I called 911 on the woman’s phone to alert the police to the unconscious woman lying in the alley.  Then I wiped my prints off the phone and headed home.

Now that I’m home I just want to lay down, but I perk back up when I enter my room and find six new boxes under the tree.

I turn towards the door and say, “Santa came again.”

If I hadn’t of moved quickly, I would have been trampled by Peter and Charlotte as they raced into my room and then sat down beside the tree.  Laughing I ask, “Excited much?  I’ll gently remind you that these presents aren’t for you guys.”

Charlotte waves her hand back and forth and says, “Pish Tosh, I enjoy watching you enjoy your gifts, even if you are frustrated by the uncertainty of it all.  Watching you open these gifts is Santa’s present to me.”

Peter nods and says, “Ditto what she said.”

Chuckling I nod and says, “If you say so.”

They nod, and Charlotte tells me, “We say so.”

I respond by sitting down in front of the tree and pick up the box with the number #6 on it and place it in my lap.  It’s a small box like the jewelry box my mother’s necklace came in, and the card dwarfs the package.  I pull the card off and open it before reading out loud, “On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Six songs to reminisce about, Five books to read, Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

I give the card to Charlotte and then tear off the wrapping paper and open the little box.  Inside is a card informing me that someone purchased songs for me on iTunes.  I hop up off the floor and go over to my desk before grabbing my laptop and bringing it back over to the tree.  Opening iTunes I plug in the code before chuckling and telling the computer to download the songs.  Peter tries to look around the screen to see what I’m laughing at so I move the screen so he can see.  He frowns and says, “I don’t get it.”

Shrugging I tell him, “She bought me six songs on iTunes.”

His frown deepens before he says, “That part I got, I don’t get the significance of the songs, though.”

I punch him in the arm and tell him with my best drawl, “That’s because you’re a youngin’ and these songs are from before your time you young whipper-snapper.”

He laughs while I click play on the first song and the notes of “Miss Lucy Neale” by J.P. Carter play through the computer speakers.   When the song is done, I smile and tell him, “If I recall correctly that song came out when I was just a baby.  However, I remember my father singing it to me when I was little and my mother smacking him with her dish towel because it wasn’t, in her opinion, proper to be singing that song to a toddler.”

They nod, and Charlotte says, “Well don’t just sit there.  Play the other five songs.”

Laughing I play them in order.  Charlotte turns the card over half way through and says, “Hey the names and dates are on the back of the card.”

She hands me the card back, and I read:

  1. Miss Lucy Neale by J.P. Carter (1844)
  2. Angelina Baker by Stephen Foster (1850)
  3. Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair by Stephen Foster (1854)
  4. When Johnny Comes Marching Home by Patrick Gilmore (1863)
  5. The Little Ballad Girl by Stephen Foster (1860)
  6. Ave Maria by Charles Gounod (1859)

Nodding I hand the card to Peter who chuckles and says, “Man these are some old songs.”

I laugh and tell him, “Every one of those songs is younger than I am.”

Laughing, he adds, “Man you are one old dude.”

Grabbing a pillow off the end of my bed I toss it at him.  He catches it before it can smack him in the face and after fluffing it a bit puts it behind him before leaning back on it.  Then he asks, “So are we going to sit here all night or are you going to open the rest of your gifts?  If you take too long, Santa will show up with tomorrow’s gifts, and you’ll have a backlog.”

I laugh but take the not so subtle hint and pick up the next box.  Opening it, I pull out five wrapped books.  Tearing off the wrapping paper I reveal:

  1. The Art of War by Sun Tzu
  2. How Great Generals Win by Bevin Alexander
  3. How Wars Are Won: The 13 Rules of War from Ancient Greece to the War on Terror by Bevin Alexander
  4. Strategy: A History by Lawrence Freedman
  5. On War by Carl von Clausewitz

Peter grins and says, “I’m sensing a theme again. Strategy maybe?”

I just nod and tell him, “You’d be correct, and every one of these books is on my list.”

He nods but when he sees the title of the first one he asks, “You’ve never read ‘The Art of War?”

Shaking my head, I tell him, “I’ve read it, but Alice purged a bunch of my books that she and the rest of the Cullen’s didn’t think were appropriate and “The Art of War” was one of them.  The list I showed you includes books I need to replace.  Incidentally, “On War” is another one that was on the list for the same reason.  I haven’t read these other three books though.”

He nods but doesn’t say anything though I can feel his growing anger so I’m guessing he’s pissed that Alice and the Cullen’s would try to dictate my reading materials.  I don’t mention that I can feel his anger because bringing it up won’t change how the Cullen’s treated me while I was with them so instead I just pick up the next box and open it.  I pull out a Texas Magnet, a framed picture of me in my uniform from right after I was promoted to Major, and two boxes like the ones the Lego Models came in.  I unwrap the two other packages and pull out first a model of the house I grew up in with an old photo in an envelope taped to the top, and then I pull out a model of the Diner where I met Alice.

After I explain the significance of the two Lego Models Peter asks, “I wonder if she’s the one making the models?  That takes some skill and time, lots of time.  Did Bella have a propensity for building things with Lego’s?”

I nod and tell him, “She never did it for herself, but Emmett accidentally discovered that she had a knack for it, so he roped her into building him several Star Wars Models and the Bat Mobile.  He just sat there and watched her build them.  It was one of the few things Rose actually admitted she thought was cool about Bella.  I mean I know her hatred was actually envy and not actual hatred but the only time she ever said anything nice to Bella was when complimenting her on her Lego Models.   I was actually surprised Emmett didn’t buy her a bunch of Lego’s for her birthday because when he asked why she didn’t do them for herself, she said she’d rather spend her hard earned money on books or movies rather than Lego’s.”

Charlotte nods and adds, “Well if we’re right and Santa is Bella, and she’s a vampire now she suddenly has a full 24 hours in every day to keep busy in so she might have decided to put her talent to use making you these models.”  She picks the Diner up and turns it this way and that and says, “I have to say, I don’t think I could do this even if I was following step by step directions and I’m guessing none of the models she made you came with directions.  She would have had to design them first and then build them.”

I nod and pick up the next box.  Inside are three more journals, two cloth and board ones in purple and golden yellow and a bleached leather journal rounding out the trio.

I put them aside and open the next box and pull out the two bottles excited to see or rather smell what she has in store for me today.  I laugh when I read the labels, “Going Bananas” and “Fresh Cut Grass.”

Charlotte leans over and reads over my arm before laughing and saying, “You and your love of fresh cut grass.  I still don’t get it.”

Still chuckling I tell her, “I just like the smell.”

Peter grins and asks, “And does Bella know that?”

I nod, so he nods back before Charlotte asks, “What’s the significance of the bananas one?”

Smiling I tell her, “I once watched Bella cut one up for a snack.   I told her I had never eaten one that I could remember but that they sure smell interesting.”

She nods and says, “Oh, okay.”

I open the fresh cut grass bottle and inhale.  Peter laughs at me and says, “I think we’re gonna have to hide that bottle from you.”

I just laugh and close the bottle before putting it aside and opening the other one.  When the scent of freshly peeled bananas hits my nose, I get a flash of Bella standing in Esme’s kitchen cutting up her banana and smearing peanut butter all over the little slices.  The smile on her face that day was bright as the sun.

Sighing, I put the bottle down next to the other and open the last box, which is another small one.  I gasp when I see what’s inside.  I tell Peter and Charlotte, “I can’t believe it.  My father’s pocket watch.  One of the few crystal clear memories I have of him is of him telling me that someday when he passed, it would become mine, but I died before he did so I never got it.  It was his father’s and had been passed down from father to oldest son every generation for over a century, maybe closer to two, well until I went and got myself turned anyway.  I—I can’t believe she found this… this is another item I’ve hunted for through the years.”

That scratchy feeling is behind my eyes again, and I just sit and stare at the watch for who knows how long.  When I finally look back up the room is empty so I get up and carry the pocket watch and my laptop back to my desk.  Sitting down I set the songs to play on repeat and then open my journal and write about what Santa’s gifts to me today mean and how much I appreciate them.  I’m operating under the assumption that if I write it down, she might know what I’ve written and know I’m grateful.


Tuesday, December 20, 2005


I have to admit I want my gifts sooner rather than later so I hop in the shower at 5 a.m. and hope Santa knows so she’ll deliver my presents before I get out and get dressed.

I laugh at myself while I dry off and try to convince myself that I won’t be disappointed if the gifts haven’t arrived yet…. Oh, who am I kidding I’ll be bored silly until they show up, and yes, if they’re not there I plan to spend all day in the living room only checking my room every, oh, five minutes to see if they’ve shown up yet.

I’m such a goon.  I sigh though when I step out of my bathroom in nothing but a towel and see seven boxes sitting beneath the tree.  There are two cards one each on top of the larger packages, so I quickly throw on some clothes and then call out, “Santa came early.”

And don’t you know apparently I’m not the only one excited and waiting for Santa because I barely get the words out before Peter and Charlotte are sitting in front of the tree.

I chuckle and grab the first card before sitting down in front of my gifts.  Opening it, I read, “P.s. If you take a shower at midnight, the gifts will be there when you get out, but then you’ll have to wait all day and half the night for the next set.  Lol.”

I laugh out loud at that and hand the card to Peter who grins and then gives it to his wife who giggles and nods deeply.  I pick up the other card and open it before reading out loud, “On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Seven places to visit, Six songs to reminisce about, Five books to read, Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

The card was taped to a box that looks like it has a picture frame in it, so I unwrap that box and then slide out a cork-board with a map of the world on it.  Once I get it out of the box, I turn it to face me and smile at the postcards pinned to the different locations.  Today’s places are Washington D.C. with a postcard of the Washington Monument, Mt Rushmore, Cathedral Peak in Yosemite National Park, the iconic Strip tacked to Las Vegas, Fenway Park stuck to Boston, The Empire State Building tacked to Manhattan, NY, and a postcard of Navy Pier stuck to Chicago.”

Charlotte comes up beside me to look at it and grins before saying, “Oh, she’s making plans.  Nice!  Maybe we can come with you on your tour of the world.”

Smiling I pat her hand that’s resting on my shoulder and tell her, “If we’re right and it is Bella doing this then I’m sure she’ll invite you both.  One thing I know about her is that she always wanted a real family.  I think that’s why she took to the Cullen’s so quickly.  They presented her with the dream family.  Anyway, she’s not anything like Alice and likes to include everyone if at all possible.  I think you’ll both love her and get along with her probably better than you get along with me, to be honest.  The term “Down-to-Earth”  was probably coined just for her.”

They both smile and nod so I nod back and then set the map to rest against the leg of my bed.  Next, I pick up the little box numbered 6 and then hop up and grab my laptop before sitting back down and opening the box.  I quickly plug in the gift code and then download the songs.

When the first one is done downloading I hit play, and the sound of “Oh Death” by Moran Lee “Dock” Boggs as performed in 1938 at the National Folk Music Festival in Washington D.C. plays from my speakers.  When it finishes “Have I Told You Lately That I Love You” by Lulu Belle and Scotty plays, then, “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me” by Karen Chandler.  “Love Me Tender,” “Shake, Rattle, and Roll,” and “As Long As I Have You” all by Elvis Presley round out the mix. I add the six songs from today to the playlist I made yesterday and then set the whole thing to play on a loop.

Charlotte grabs the card from me and tells me, “This has the song titles, artists and years on it just like yesterday.  It looks like today’s songs range from 1938 to 1958.

I nod and set my laptop down on the floor and pick up the next box.  Opening it, I pull out the wrapped books and then begin unwrapping them.  I look at each title and then hand it to Peter who reads the title and then hands it to Charlotte who reads the title and then puts them in a pile beside her.  Today’s books are:

  1. A World Undone: The Story of the Great War, 1914 to 1918, by G. J. Meyer
  2. July 1914: Countdown to War, by Sean McMeekin
  3. Poilu: The World War I Notebooks of Corporal Louis Barthas, Barrelmaker 1914–1918, by Louis Barthas
  4. Comrades-In-Arms: The World War I Memoir of Captain Henri de Lecluse, Count de Trevoedal by Roy E. Sandstrom
  5. Hitler’s First War: Adolf Hitler, the Men of the List Regiment, and the First World War by Thomas Weber

Peter smiles and asks, “Today’s theme is World War I?  Let me guess these books are also on your list?”

I nod and tell him, “Every last one of them.”

He smiles and nods so I pick up the fourth box and open it. There are four packages of varying sizes inside so I pick up the first one and unwrap it.  I laugh when I realize it’s a DVD of the 1997 movie The Saint with Val Kilmer in the title role.  I hand it to Peter and tell them, “Emmett made me watch that movie in the theater more than 50 times when it first came out.  Finally, Rose threatened to cut him off if he didn’t take her to see a different movie, so he stopped, but I’m pretty sure I saw it 55 times in the theater before that happened and then when it came out on DVD he would always want to watch it.   Alice took to telling him she saw him enjoying some other movie more to get him to stop trying to make us all watch it.  The funny thing is that I actually enjoyed it the first 30  or 40 times, but after that, it got a little tedious.”

Peter frowns and asks, “Would I like it?”

I nod and tell him, “Charlotte is going to hate me for telling you this, but you’ll probably love it just as much as Emmett does, if not more.  If you promise not to make us watch it over and over, we can watch it later today.”

He nods and says, “You have yourself a deal.”

I nod back and open the next package to reveal The Godfather Collection on DVD.

Laughing I tell them, “Every now and then Emmett and I would argue over which was the better Al Pacino movie, The Godfather or Scarface.  I claimed that the Godfather I and II are better than every other film ever made, except Gone with the Wind.

Emmett always insisted that Scarface was the better movie.  This last time he asked Bella her opinion, which was that the Godfather Part II is better than both and that only Gone with the Wind is better than it.  She pointed out that the first Godfather is a close third place and that she could think of a couple of movies that are better than Scarface but in that genre, it was probably number three behind the first two Godfather movies.”

Peter is nodding throughout my explanation, and when I finish, he tells me, “This Bella sounds like the perfect girl for you, Jasper.  I think the only woman on my list who beats out Bella in awesomeness is my beautiful and amazing wife, but it sounds like Bella is a close second, like really close.”

Chuckling I nod and open the next thing that reminds Santa of me and end up laughing harder before I hold up the Scarface DVD.

Peter just nods deeper and says, “Really, really close.”

I nod deeply myself and then unwrap the last one, which is Gone with the Wind.

Charlotte giggles and says, “I dunno Jasper, I might need to divorce Peter and run off with Bella into the sunset.”

Peter pouts at that, but I just laugh before opening the box that has my three new journals in it.  I wonder what color they are this time and get a pleasant surprise when I unwrap the first one and find it’s actually not a plain cover this time.  It’s a forest burnt into the reddish leather cover.  The next one is stylistic leaves burnt into the Tawney leather, and the last one is flowers burnt into another reddish leather cover.  I hand each one to Peter and then open the second box.  Taking out the two bottles I smile and tell them, “Ah another fruit I’ve never eaten but enjoy the scent of and a cooking spice I remember smelling when I was human.  My mother used cinnamon in her recipes, but I can’t for the life of me remember which recipes. I just remember the scent filling the house and knowing that dessert was going to be heavenly that night.”

I open the cinnamon one and take a deep breath and my mother’s face bent over the kitchen counter rolling out dough fills my mind.  I give the bottle to Charlotte and then open the one labeled “Mangoes” and take a deep breath.   Hmm, still smells good.

I pick up the last box and take a deep breath before opening it to find out what family treasure Santa found for me this time.  The photo of my parent’s on their wedding day takes my breath away.  I show it to Charlotte and then Peter, who both smile and say at the same time, “They look so happy.”

I nod and tell them both, “My parents loved each other deeply.  I remember that much, at least, and I know my childhood was a happy one.”

They smile wider and then I take out a little jewelry box out of the bigger package and open it.  I gasp and almost drop the box.  I tighten my hold on it to keep the rings from falling and gently take the diamond ring out of the box.  I look inside and read out loud, “Bertha & Jasper, Always & Forever”  I pick up the two wedding rings next and read the inscriptions inside.  The first says, “Bertha & Jasper, June 03, 1842,” and the second, bigger, one says, “Jasper & Bertha, June 03, 1842.” I put the rings back in the box and then hand them to Charlotte who reads the inscriptions and then says, “Bella gives the best gifts.”

I shake my head and tell her, “We still don’t know that Santa is, in fact, Bella.  I mean I hope she is, so much, but we don’t know for sure.  I’m too nervous to allow myself to really believe it for fear of the emotional pain I’ll suffer if it’s not her because if it’s not her then she’s really gone and that will rend me to pieces.”

They both nod and we just sit for a few minutes.  I don’t know about them, but I say a silent prayer, “Please God, let Santa be Bella!”

My brother and sister of my heart get up and leave me to my thoughts a while later, and I just sit and listen to the music Santa sent me for most of the rest of the day.  Well, until I get bored then I go watch The Saint with Peter and Charlotte before returning to my room and reading one of the Civil War Books for the rest of the day.


Wednesday, December 21, 2005


I force myself not to shower at midnight, but I only last until 3 a.m.  Laughing at myself while I shower I shake my head because usually, I’m very patient, it’s what makes me such a great strategist.  My patience has flown out the window this week, though, so I hurry through my shower and then quickly dry off.  Wrapping the towel around my waist, I exit the bathroom and walk to my dresser.   I get distracted by the new postcards on the map now hanging on my bedroom wall, but I force myself to get dressed first.

Once I’m clothed I call out, “Santa came again.”

It sounds like a herd of elephants as Peter and Charlotte rush into the room.  Laughing I ask them, “You do know that you’re vampires so I shouldn’t hear you coming, right?”

They grin and shrug sheepishly before sitting in front of the tree.  I studiously ignore the postcards determined to do the gifts in order, so I pick up the card and open it before reading out loud, “On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Eight t-shirts to rock, Seven places to visit, Six songs to reminisce about, Five books to read, Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

Peter groans and asks, “Please tell me she’s not a fashionista like the damn pixie, please tell me that.”

Laughing I tell him, “She hates shopping, well in stores anyhow.  She usually doesn’t mind shopping online but she hates going shopping for herself, and she hates getting gifts.  I’m pretty sure it all stems from how she grew up.  I gather she was the adult in her child-parent relationship starting at around age six.  She used to hate it when Alice made her try on clothes.  God, the feelings I would feel from her: boredom, annoyance, frustration, anger, lots of anger especially when Alice would say something along the lines ‘I saw that you’ll love this.’  She’s like us.  She prefers clothes that are comfortable and useful, so don’t worry, if Santa is Bella she won’t take you shopping, though, I have to admit I’m curious about what sort of T-Shirts she got me.”

Opening the box, I start pulling the shirts out.  I breathe a sigh of relief when I realize that they’re all long sleeved t-shirts.  Then I smile when I catch sight of the first design: Metallica’s ‘And Justice for All’ concert t-shirt.  Nice.  The next one is a Shinedown concert T, then Halestorm, Apocalyptica, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Linkin Park, and Limp Bizkit.

Peter is smiling a broad smile before he asks, “Tell me she likes those bands?”

I nod and tell him, “Edward used to bitch about her taste in music.  It’s actually rather eclectic and incredibly vast and varied.  She likes everything from these bands to Muse, Sarah McLachlan, Elvis, Leo Kottke, Janis Joplin, and all the music she’s given me.  She also likes Classical, Celtic, Epic, Trailer Music, Pop, Rock, you name a genre, and she probably likes at least one song or artist in that genre.”

Peter nods and says, “Thank God.  If I had to listen to nothing but classical all day long I’d die.”

Charlotte giggles and tells him, “Honey, you’re already dead.”

Smiling he shrugs and tells her, “Well I’d die again.”

I put the t-shirts on my bed to fold later because I’m pretty sure none of us have the patience to wait that long to open the next gift.

When I’m done with that I walk over to the cork board and look at the locations she added today.  They’re all in Latin America.  The first is a postcard of The Pyramid of the Sun in Mexico City.  Next is a postcard of Christ the Redeemer in Rio De Janeiro.  Postcards of the Plaza de Armas in Santiago, Chile, The Casa Rosada in Buenos Aires, Argentina, The National Palace in Guatemala City, Guatemala, The Panama Canal in Panama City, Panama, and The Museo Nacional de Costa Rica, in San José, Costa Rica round out the mix.

Peter walks up behind me and nods before saying, “A very nice starter collection of places to visit in your long life together.”

Smiling I tell him, “Todays’ and yesterday’s locations are all from a conversation I had with Bella the week before her birthday.  I asked her where she would go if she could go anywhere in the world and she spent ten minutes rattling off a long list of places, some of which I actually had to look up, before blushing and telling me she could go on for days.  Every destination here is a place she listed.”

Peter puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes before he says, “We’re praying we’re right and it is Bella, Jasper.  My gut says it is, but my gift is strangely silent on this one, so we just have to wait and see, but hey only four more days after today.”

I nod and go back to the boxes on the floor, but I stop at my desk and grab my laptop before sitting down and opening the box of music.  After plugging in the code, I download the songs and turn the card over to see what I get today:

  1. Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley (1961)
  2. Big Girls Don’t Cry by the 4 Seasons (1962)
  3. If You Wanna Be Happy by Jimmy Soul (1963)
  4. It’s My Party by Lesley Gore (1963)
  5. I Want to Hold Your Hand by The Beatles (1964)
  6. Can’t Buy Love by The Beatles (1964)

When they finish downloading I drag and drop them into my playlist and then click Can’t help Falling In Love.  Setting down my laptop, I move to the next box.

Opening the lid, I then pull out the wrapped books before quickly tearing the paper off of them.  Ahh, World War II today.  We’ve got:

  1. Band of Brothers: E Company, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne from Normandy to Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest by Stephen E. Ambrose
  2. How Hitler Could Have Won World War II: The Fatal Errors That Led to Nazi Defeat by Bevin Alexander
  3. Stalingrad: The Fateful Siege: 1942-1943 by Antony Beevor
  4. The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William L. Shirer
  5. The Third Reich at War by Richard J. Evans

Peter smiles and asks, “Still from your list?”

I nod, so he nods back.  Picking up the fourth box, I open it to find more wrapped packages.  When I unwrap the first one I laugh and ask out loud, “Really, I mean really?”

Peter and Charlotte both raise their eyebrows at me so holding up my new copy of ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ I tell them, “Every time we did high school we’d have to read this stupid book.  I mean it’s a good book, don’t get me wrong, great even, but I’ve been enrolled in high school more than thirteen times.  That means I’ve read it eleven times for school and then answered the same damn questions from the teachers.  The answers to the questions changed a little as the times changed and popular opinion became less racist, but eleven times.  So this last time I made an offhand comment that if I had to read it one more time I was going to go on a killing spree starting with our English teacher.  The Cullen’s found the joke in poor taste, but Bella, well, Bella couldn’t stop giggling.  Every time she saw me that day she’d break out into giggles and mumble something about a killing spree.”

Peter and Charlotte are smiling big grins at my story and when I finish Peter says, “I think I’m gonna like having her around.”

That pops my balloon, so I tell him, “I’m not getting my hopes up.  I couldn’t handle it if we’re wrong and I was firm in my belief that it’s Bella.  If I allow room for the possibility that it’s not her I might not completely lose it if it’s not actually her.”

Charlotte gasps and then points at a box and a card sitting on it, “That card just appeared out of thin air.”

My eyebrow raises at that, but I pick the card up and open it.  It says, “Do you want me to ruin the surprise?  If you’re that worried about it, I’d rather kill the surprise and save you the worry.  Either way, have faith.   Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to and if you think back on Alice’s visions you might remember one that Edward said would never happen but Alice was pretty insistent that anyway she looked at it her vision was going to happen.”

I breathe a little easier at that and then out loud say, “Don’t kill the surprise.  I can handle a few more days of not knowing.  I just don’t want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed on Christmas morning.”

Peter and Charlotte are both tilting their heads while looking at me with raised eyebrows, so I tell them, “Santa offered to reveal herself if it’ll make me feel better and not worry so much.  She also mentioned a vision Alice had that Edward refused to believe would happen.  Alice tried looking at it from the angle of every person she could think of deciding different things, but the result was always the same.  If I’m thinking of the correct vision, then it never changed because Alice never thought to see Victoria making a different decision. Therefore, Alice always saw Bella as one of us, or more specifically a Vampire.  Though, I’m pretty sure she’ll be a Whitlock, not a Cullen if this elaborate Secret Santa game is any indication.”

Peter’s frowning when he asks, “She offered to stop her game if it would make you feel better?”

I nod, so he nods back and says, “Then she’s already one of us if your well being, emotional or otherwise, is more important to her than getting to finish her well thought out game.  She loves you back Jasper, and for that, I will love her like a sister until my dying day.”

I smile at that and nod. I still have a little doubt but nowhere near as much as I had before.  I’m still scared Santa won’t be Bella, but I’m determined not to focus on that fear until I’m proven wrong.  Smiling more fully, I ask, “Shall we continue to see what Santa brought for me?”

They both nod so I pick up the #4 package and unwrap it before smiling at the cover for All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy.  Next, I tear the paper off of Gone with the Wind, which is one of my favorite books and then I laugh out loud again when I unwrap Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

Smiling wider than I have in a long time, I hold up the book so they can see the title and tell them, “Alice wanted to see the movie with Ethan Hawke and Robert DeNiro in it.  After we watched it, I said out loud that the book was better than the movie.  Bella agreed and then added, ‘But then again Dickens was a master of his craft, so any movie made of any of his books would have pretty big shoes to fill.’ Edward was the only other Cullen beside me and Bella who had actually read the book, which caused Bella to ask what we spent all our time doing.   Of course, Edward quickly whisked her out of the room when Emmett started in with the lascivious comments about all of our time spent in the bedroom with our respective wives.”

Charlotte giggles and says, “Such a brute, but he wasn’t so bad all things considered.”

I nod and tell them, “Emmett and Rose are pretty much the only ones I miss, mostly Emmett, but Rose had her moments.  I understand her outbursts were coming from a place of pain, so her attitude was a little easier to take than the other’s holier than thou attitudes that were grounded in their deep-seated belief that they are right and better than everyone and the rest of the world is always wrong and beneath them.”

They nod, so I put Great Expectation down on the floor beside me and open the box with my new journals.  Yesterday’s journals have me wondering what kind of surprises this package has in store for me today.  Smiling I take out the three wrapped journals and then tear the paper off each one revealing three board covered journals with designs on them:   Van Gogh’s Irises in the Garden from 1889, Monet’s Water Lilies from 1916, and Mondrian’s Composition II in Red, Blue, and Yellow from 1930.

Charlotte smiles as she takes each one from my outstretched hand and then asks, “Is there a significance to the paintings?”

Nodding I tell her, “We took an AP Art History Class together, and all three of these paintings are ones I made it clear that I enjoyed.”

They smile at that, and then I open the second box and take out the two bottles of custom-cologne.  Hmm, Coconut and Pear this time.  I open the coconut one and inhale deeply and a picture of Bella sitting at the table with her friends on her first day of school pops into my head.  I could smell her coconut shampoo from across the room, and it’s always been a scent I associated with her.

Peter takes the bottle of Pear scent and pops the lid before breathing deeply and then asking, “What’s the significance of Coconut and Pear?”

Shaking my head I take the bottle back from him and inhale and then tell him, “My gifts, so I get to smell them first, understood?”

His grin is wholly unrepentant, but he nods and says, “Sorry, I got excited.  Your girl comes up with the best gifts, and it’s obvious that she clearly pays attention to what people say or think.”

I nod with a broad smile on my face and tell him, “I agree with you there, wholeheartedly.  As for the significance of these two scents, the shampoo Bella always wore was Coconut, except for a week where she tried a pear one.  I think, if I recall correctly, Edward had a bad reaction to the pear one, something about a suppressed childhood memory that made him gag anytime he smells pears.  Anyway, he asked her not to use the shampoo anymore, so she only wore it for a week and then it disappeared.  It was too bad too, the pear suited her. I mean coconut suits her too but there was something about her natural scent of freesias mixing with the scent of pear that was downright alluring.”

They nod, so I take another deep breath and brace myself for an emotional roller-coaster ride and then open the last box.  I was right to brace.  The card inside the box says, “Your sister made these for you while you were away at war.  After they received word that you were missing and believed dead, she kept at least one on her person at all times until the day she died.  This is an incomplete set because per her request she was buried with one of them.”

That scratchy feeling is back while I stare down at the five monogrammed handkerchiefs, JAW meticulously and lovingly sewn onto the cloth.  I bring one of them to my nose and damn if it doesn’t still smell of Mary-Sue.  I’ll have to ask Bella, I mean Santa, how she’s manipulating scents like that.  In my mind, I watch as a six-year-old Mary-Sue chases Jeremy around the yard after he dropped a frog down the back of her dress.  The dress had a cinched waist so the frog got caught and she was quite upset about it until the frog was released from her clothes.  Then Mary-Sue spent the rest of the afternoon chasing after Jeremy and threatening to put slugs in his socks when he least expected it.  Turns out I wasn’t the only patient strategist in the family because it was three months later before she got her revenge and the look on our brother’s face was priceless and totally worth the wait.

I get up and walk over to my desk and picking up the journal I’ve been writing in I begin writing the memory down.  I don’t even notice when Peter and Charlotte leave the room.


Thursday, December 22, 2005


I get back from feeding around 3:30 in the morning.  For someone who can’t physically sleep I sure feel tired complete with heavy limbs and drooping eyes.  It’s probably because the man I fed on was a murderer and a rapist and I didn’t get to him soon enough to save his pregnant victim or her unborn child.

What I really need is a hug, but I can hear that Peter and Charlotte are otherwise engaged, so I trudge up to my room and into the bathroom.  Stripping my clothes off I step into the shower and turn the water on as hot as I can stand it before just holding myself under the stream of water and letting the heat soothe me.

We have a pretty big water heater to accommodate the Jacuzzi tubs in each bathroom, so it takes a good hour before the water turns cold, but I’m still in the shower when it happens.

Jumping out of the stream of now freezing water and quickly turning the water off I step out of the shower onto the mat and grab my towel before beginning to dry off.  When I turn to face the mirror, I smile because there’s a little pillow with the word HUG embroidered on it sitting on the counter.  Chuckling I say softly, “Thank you, Darlin’.”

Picking up the pillow I bring it to my nose and inhale.  I’m hit with the scent of freesias and vampire.  It smells like home to me and just brings me more hope that Bella is my Secret Santa.

When I deem myself sufficiently dry, I walk out into my bedroom and smile at the new boxes under the tree.  Grabbing my new Metallica long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of worn jeans, I throw them on.  I don’t bother with shoes, but I do put on a warm pair of socks to try to remove the chill that blast of cold water caused.

Pausing a moment I listen to the noises in the house and when I’m satisfied that Peter and Charlotte are done having their fun, I say, “Santa’s gifts have arrived.”

I laugh when I hear two sets of feet hit the floor simultaneously and then dresser drawers opening and closing quickly before the sound of clothes speedily sliding on reaches my sensitive ears.  Not even sixty seconds after I spoke Peter and Charlotte are standing beside the tree.  Charlotte is running her fingers through her blonde hair trying to tame the wild tresses, and Peter looks like he slept in his clothes he’s so wrinkled and disheveled.

They sit, so I follow suit and then grab the card off the ninth box.  Opening it, I read out loud, “On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Nine boxers to wear, Eight t-shirts to rock, Seven places to visit, Six songs to reminisce about, Five books to read, Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

Giggling Charlotte asks, “Uh how does Bella know what kind of underwear you prefer?”

Chuckling I tell her, “I guarantee the topic of my underwear has never come up anywhere near Bella, so she probably knows the same way she knows everything else I haven’t told her.”

Charlotte nods so I open the box and find a sea of silk.  I pull each one out and place it beside me.  When the box is empty, I’ve got a mountain of purple, sapphire blue, ruby red, fuchsia, burnt orange, an orangey yellow, emerald green, aqua blue, and kiwi green boxers.

Picking the blue pair up, I look inside and smile before saying, “Well she got the right size, and none of these colors are horrible.  Alice once bought me a pair that she called pear, but they really were just a neon yellow bordering on puke green.”

Charlotte nods and says, “I like this yellow pair, it reminds me of the soft glow of candlelight.”

Nodding I toss all the boxers back into the box before moving on to the package that should have more t-shirts.  Opening the box, I pull out a Garth Brooks long sleeved Concert T-Shirt, then a Dolly Parton one.  Next is Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Chris Kristofferson, Willie Nelson, The Highwaymen, and Toby Keith.  I’m nodding as I pull out each one and when I have them all out, I smile and say, “Once again she got all stuff I like, and some of these shirts look like they’re vintage.

Tossing the pile of shirts onto my bed, I then move on to the cork-board I’ve been studiously ignoring until now.  Getting up I walk to the board and smile, today is European destinations.  Paris’ postcard is of the pyramid from the Louvre Museum.  There’s a postcard from a Viking Exhibit in Stockholm.  Big Ben, The Colosseum, a beach in Hvar, Croatia, Saint Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow and a postcard of Bran Castle in Romania round out the collection.

Turning my head to look at Peter and Charlotte I tell them, “The only ones I’ve ever seen myself are the Louvre, Big Ben, and The Colosseum and only because there were big-name fashion houses in the same cities, so Alice insisted that we visit.  I managed to sneak away long enough to explore the cities a little.  I didn’t have enough time to actually take a tour of any of them except the Louvre, though, and Alice came with me that time to try to get ideas for our room, which she wanted to redecorate.”

I turn and walk back to the tree and smile when Peter hands me my laptop.  Taking it, I sit and open the little box that by now I know has an iTunes gift card inside it.  After plugging in the gift code, I download the songs and then add them to my ever-growing playlist before clicking play on the first one, which is ‘You are the Sunshine of My Life’ by Stevie Wonder.

Flipping the card over I read the list:

  1. You Are The Sunshine of My Life by Stevie Wonder (1973)
  2. Don’t Fear the Reaper by Blue Öyster Cult (1976)
  3. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon (1976)
  4. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be All Right) by Rod Stewart (1976)
  5. You Make Me Feel Like Dancing by Leo Sayer (1977)
  6. I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor (1979)

Handing the list to Peter he reads it and then asks, “I wonder if any of these are a message or do they all have some sort of sentimental meaning to you?”

Shaking my head, I tell him, “I think most of them are about Bella and me with a few that are about Alice and me like ‘50 Ways To Leave Your Lover’, for instance.  Though some of them like ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’ I know I told Bella I like.  ‘You Make Me Feel Like Dancing’ is actually pretty funny, though, when you think about it because Bella hates dancing.”  I pause then I reconsider and say, “Well, okay, maybe she doesn’t hate it, but she doesn’t think she’s very good at it due to her clumsiness, so she tends to try to avoid it at all cost.”

Charlotte smiles and tells me, “Well, if Santa is Bella and she’s a vampire now then that clumsiness should be all but a thing of the past, so maybe she’ll let you teach her how.  I think, based on what I know of her thus far, that even if she doesn’t like it, she will let you teach her simply because you enjoy dancing.”

I nod but clarify, “I enjoy real dancing not that bump and grind and rub all over your partner crap kids these days call dancing.  Give me the Waltz, or the Tango, or the Rumba, or the Charleston, or even the Jive, and I’ll dance for hours, but that farce of dancing this generation participates in is not to my liking.  But for the record, if she doesn’t want to dance I won’t mind not dancing.”

Charlotte laughs and tells me, “Well, if she still hates it even with vampire coordination then I’ll be sure and save you a spot or two on my dance card.”

Chuckling, I tell her in my best Texan accent, “Thank you kindly Ma’am.”

She smiles and nods so while ‘50 Ways to Leave Your Lover’ begins to play on my laptop I pick up the box that should have my new additions to my library.

Opening the box, I pull out the five wrapped books and then tear off the brightly colored wrapping paper.  Laughing I tell Peter and Charlotte, “I wondered what theme she would have today, and it looks like Classic Non-Fiction.  I’ve got ‘On the Origin of Species’ by Charles Darwin, ‘Beyond Good and Evil’ by Friedrich Nietzsche, ‘The Problem of Pain’ by C.S. Lewis, ‘Meditations’ by Marcus Aurelius, and ‘The Prince’ by Niccolò Machiavelli.  And…” I open each one and look before closing the last one and finishing my thought, “They’re all first editions, which explains why she gave me these books even though I’ve already read them.  I have a separate list of first editions I want, and all five of these are on that list.”

Peter smiles and says, “Hands down best gift giver known to man.”

Laughing, I nod and pick up the next box wondering what things remind her of me today.  Smiling, I take the Astro’s Baseball Jersey out of the box and then throw it on over my t-shirt before telling them, “Bella witnessed a discussion between Emmett and myself about why I prefer the Astro’s over more storied teams like the Yankees, the Red Sox, or even the Dodgers.  Finally, I told him he wouldn’t understand the solidarity of us Texans.  I never got a Jersey, though, because Alice didn’t like their colors.”

Charlotte coughs out “Damn Pixie” again but smiles and shrugs when I merely lift an eyebrow at her.

I reach into the box and pull out a box of golf balls before bursting out in laughter.

I’m still laughing uncontrollably a minute later, so Peter raises his brow and asks, “Care to share the joke with the rest of the class?”

It takes me a minute or two to calm down before I manage to explain, “Emmett did something, at this point, I don’t even remember which something it was, but it annoyed me to no end so in response I filled Emmett and Rose’s bedroom with thousands of Golf balls.  When Rose opened the door, a wall of golf balls came falling out at her.  It took them a week to get rid of all of them and even still every now and then for months afterward Rose would come down the stairs holding a random golf ball that she found in a shoe or some other little place.  Just so happens that when Rose discovered her room was full of golf balls from the floor to the ceiling, Bella was in mine and Alice’s room with us, and when we heard Rose screeching, we hurried out to see what was wrong.  It took Alice and me both to hold Bella up she was laughing so hard.  I never admitted it was me who did it, though Bella was clear that she thought whoever did it was a genius.”

Peter chuckles and says, “I’ll have to remember golf balls next time we have a prank war.”

Shaking my head, I tell him, “Oh no, that one’s mine and you know the rules, no stealing the previous pranks of those involved in the current war, even if the previous prank wasn’t used in that particular war.”

He sighs but nods so I smile and tell him, “Beware, Bella will probably be a prank war prodigy so know that now before you go initiating any wars with her.”

He laughs but nods and then hands me the still open box, so I reach in and take out a baseball that has seen better days.  Bringing it to my nose, I sniff, and my eyes widen before I ask, “How the hell did she get this?”

Peter leans over and says, “It’s a baseball, they sell them at most sports good stores, though that one looks like it got run over by a truck.”

More like smacked around by a few vampires.  Shaking my head, I tell him, “This is the baseball from the game she went to.  Ya know the game that James, Victoria, and Laurent crashed.  The game that caused Bella to run for her life.  The same game that almost cost her that life in Phoenix and that at the very least cost Bella her human life in Port Angles in October.  You know the game that prompted us having to hunt down and then torture and kill Victoria.”

His eyes are round like saucers, and he just says, “Oh.”

I nod and tell him, “Last I knew Rose had the ball.  I wonder how Bella got her hands on it?  Unless…  If she was turned and not killed that weekend in October, it would have taken her 72 hours to finish the transition which means she would have just been waking as a vampire around the time you convinced me to come back home.  If she returned to Forks to get some of her things, there is nothing to say she didn’t also stop at the Cullen’s house.  These gifts would have required cash.  We had probably millions in small unmarked bills hidden throughout the house.  A minimum of two million for each of us in the event we had to run and I’m pretty sure Edward mentioned that a couple of times.  In fact, I think Alice might have actually told her the locations of the hiding places, which if she knew Bella would become a vampire and maybe knew she wouldn’t be with the Cullen’s when it happened she might have told her as a safety precaution.  Whatever issues I have with Alice, I know that she loves Bella.  I’m even pretty sure she loves me in her own way.  If she saw any of this, she might have even taken steps to make sure it happened so she definitely would have made sure Bella had what she needed if she were turned and alone.  Which means Bella had free reign of the Cullen’s house for who knows how long.  Hell, for all we know she’s there now because that card just magically appeared yesterday and a pillow appeared out of thin air today too… Bella doesn’t have to be in Texas to be giving me these gifts.  Anyway, it’s not really important in the grand scheme of things, but I am curious, so eventually, I will ask her about it.”

Peter and Charlotte nod so I reach into the box again and pull out a tube of tennis balls before laughing once more.  When I get myself under control for the second time, I tell them, “Bella and I talked Alice out of attending a tennis match.  We pointed out that they’re usually held during the day, outdoors, and in locations that are sunny more often than not.  Then I added that I couldn’t understand the appeal of watching people smack little balls back and forth across that tiny court.  I told her to give me a baseball field, or a football stadium, or even a soccer field.   Those take skill and aren’t boring as hell to watch.  The whole time I talked Bella was nodding deeply, but it took Bella mentioning a sale at one of Alice’s favorite boutiques for us to win the argument.  I still owe Bella for that save come to think of it.”

I put the tube down and then move to the next box and begin taking out the wrapped journals.  Tearing off the paper I smile at the board cover that has skulls and crossbones all over it.  The next one has the night sky and a little post-it note on it written in what looks to be Bella’s handwriting says, “This is the northern sky.”  The last journal for today is covered with Van Gogh’s Starry Night.

Placing the journals on the floor beside me I pick up the second box and open it to take out the two bottles of custom-cologne.  Today’s scents are Cantaloupe and Cucumber-Melon, both of which are the flavors of two of Bella’s body washes.  Opening the Cantaloupe, I take a deep breath and smile.  I can smell a hint of freesias like the scent is actually of Bella wearing the body wash instead of just the body wash.  I close the bottle and hand it to Peter before opening the other one and noticing that the hint of freesias is in this one too.  Getting up I walk over to my collection of custom-colognes lining my dresser top and grab the Coconut one before opening it and taking a whiff.  Yup, it has a slight scent of freesias in the background.  How did I miss that?  Just to be sure I open the Pear one too and sure enough, it smells of Bella wearing it.

When I turn around Peter and Charlotte are staring at me with expectant looks on their faces.  Charlotte smiles and asks, “You have your ‘How did I not know that’ face on, so what’s up? What did you just realize?”

Laughing I ask, “I have a ‘How did I not know that’ face?”

She nods and adds, “You actually have a number of faces that you favor, and I know most of them at this point. Pretty sure Bella is observant enough to know them too, now quit stalling and share with the other kids!”

Chuckling I shake my head slightly and tell her, “It’s just, the scents that are flavors of things Bella wore, like the two shampoos yesterday and the two body washes today, don’t just smell of the flavor of body wash or shampoo.  They smell of Bella wearing them.  They all have hints of freesias in them.”

Peter opens the one still in his hand and sniffs then nods and says, “I smell it now.”

He hands it to Charlotte who sniffs and then nods before smiling and telling me, “I’ll need to ask Bella where she got the colognes.  These are all custom-made, and they don’t smell of chemicals, so I’m guessing a vampire made them or at least a human with a very sensitive nose.”

I nod and sit back down to open the last box.  I have a feeling I’m going to need to be sitting for this present because all the family treasures have bowled me over.  This time is no different when I open the square box and see the head of a doll I haven’t seen in 144 years.  Taking it out I notice an envelope on the bottom of the package so carefully cradling the doll I pick up the note, open it, and read, “I may or may not have stolen this from the attic of Mary-Sue’s great-great-granddaughter’s house.  It was just collecting dust in a box, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know it had been there so I figured it’d be better appreciated in your possession.  Hope you like it!”

That scratchy feeling is behind my eyes again.  I put the note down and hardly notice when Peter leans over and picks it up.  I hold up the doll and then close my eyes as an image of my baby sister Mary-Sue dancing with this toy while I clumsily played a song for her on our father’s guitar fills my mind’s eye.  She was probably four years old which would have made me around eight or nine.

A throat clearing knocks me out of my memory.  Peter shrugs when I open my eyes and asks, “Who’s doll is it?”

Smiling I tell them, “My baby sister, Mary-Sue.  Our mother made it for her while she was pregnant because Ma was convinced that she was finally going to get the little girl that she had always wanted.  Everyone thought she was nuts because she’d had three boys, even if one of them didn’t make it to a year before he passed.  They thought for sure she’d have another boy, but she had Mary-Sue, which was a lucky thing because in addition to this doll she made a bunch of little dresses too.”

I pause, then tell them, “God, the last time I saw this was when I went up to Mary-Sue’s room to say goodbye before going and enlisting.  She wouldn’t come down to say goodbye because she didn’t want me to go.  She correctly informed me that she’d never see me again if I went.  Obviously, I didn’t listen to her good sense, so I went up and managed to get a hug out of her before leaving.  This doll was sitting on her bed beside her, and when I left the room, I looked back and saw her bury her face in the hair of the doll to muffle the sounds of her sobs.”

I shrug and then tell them, “Most of my memories of this doll are happy ones, though.  I used to play our father’s guitar while my brother and sister would take turns waltzing with Molly.”

Peter laughs and asks, “The doll’s name was Molly?”

I just nod, so he smiles and says, “Good name, actually my sister’s name was Molly.”

My eyes widen at that news.  Peter’s never told me anything about his family other than he had a younger sister and two older brothers.  I always felt his immense sense of loss and grief that thinking about them still brought up, even all these years later, so I always refrained from asking him about his family.

Charlotte reaches over and grabs his hand before giving it a squeeze, so I smile and tell them, “Well that’s it for today.  How many hours until midnight?”

They both laugh at that before Peter looks at his watch and says, “Oh only about 18 more hours, give or take a little.”

Charlotte stands and then reaches down her hand toward me and says, “Come help me decorate the tree my strong strapping husband cut down all by himself.”

Laughing I take her hand and stand before placing Molly on the pillow at the head of my bed.  I turn and tell Charlotte, “Let me just straighten up in here, and I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

She nods and helps Peter stand, and then they both leave the room.  I put all of my new gifts away and then just stare at the cork-board of places I hope I get to visit with Bella some day.  Leaning over my desk, I open my current journal and write, “Thank you, Darlin’.  Best gift giver known to human and vampire kind alike.”  Then I close the book and head out to the living room where I hear Charlotte saying, “Peter, my darling husband, the tree needs to be watered every day, or you risk the chance of it catching fire.  Since fire will kill us wouldn’t it be better to keep the tree fresh by watering it like we’re supposed to?”

I enter in time to see him nod and then kiss her before hurrying off to get a watering can.


Friday, December 23, 2005


I manage to put off showering until 2 a.m. when Peter comes into my room and gives me a look before saying, “Go, go shower before you give us all nervous breakdowns with all the determination, nerves, and excited anticipation you’re pouring into the house.”

Umm, oops.  Chuckling I tell Peter, “Sorry.  I didn’t realize I was projecting.”

He smiles back and nods before telling me, “I know which is why I’m suggesting you go shower instead of throwing you into the pool.”

Narrowing my eyes, I tell him, “You wouldn’t dare!”

Shrugging, he says, “If my missus hadn’t threatened to cut me off until after Bella reveals herself as your Secret Santa I totally would have.”

Laughing I get up off my bed and head towards the bathroom before telling him, “I’ll holler when my gifts arrive.”

He nods and says, “Thank you.”

I’m smiling all throughout my shower.   My fear that Santa isn’t Bella is mostly gone now, so I really am just feeling a hopeful and excited anticipation.  Unfortunately for Peter and Charlotte my getting today’s gifts isn’t going to temper those feelings, but I can make sure not to project them.

Getting out and drying off I smile nice and wide when I enter my bedroom and see nine boxes and new postcards on the cork-board.

I throw on my clothes and then whisper softly, “Santa came.”

Laughing Peter and Charlotte enter the room at vampire speed and almost trip over each other in their haste to get to the tree and sit.

Laughing harder, I just shake my head at their antics and then step over to my desk grabbing my laptop so I won’t have to get up and get it later.

Sitting down and gently placing the computer beside me I grab the card off the number #10 box and open it before reading it out loud, “On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Ten dinner reservations, Nine boxers to wear, Eight t-shirts to rock, Seven places to visit, Six songs to reminisce about, Five books to read, Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

Dinner reservations?  With a raised eyebrow I open the package and find ten boxes of varying sizes wrapped in colorful paper.  There’s another card so smiling I open it and read, “I know you’re eating criminals now.  I am too, but I want to try each of these at least once.”

Still clueless about what I’m going to find in the boxes I hand the second card to Charlotte and tear off the paper before opening the first box.

Laughing I take out a stuffed toy of a moose.  The next one is a deer, then a caribou, antelope, gemsbok, blesbok, kangaroo, bushbok, giraffe, and a cape buffalo.

Laughing I tell Peter and Charlotte, “I once overheard Bella talking to Edward about what different animals taste like.  She wanted to know if caribou and bushbok would taste the same or different and what would a kangaroo taste like.  Edward told her that every type of animal tastes different, and most of them taste horrible.  She told him, ‘Well you should make a list of all the animals in the world and try each one at least once just so you can say you’ve tried it.’”

Peter chuckles and says, “That’s a good motto to live by.”

Charlotte and I nod before I look at the cape buffalo still in my hand and hold it up before telling them, “The only reason I know what some of these are is because of Rose and Emmett’s love of hunting African game.  I wonder where Santa managed to find stuffed animals of them though?  I don’t imagine she’d be able to find a gemsbok or blesbok at the local Toys ‘R’ Us.”

Peter nods but says, “Probably the internet.  I would imagine that some of the more famous zoos around the world have extensive online stores with this sort of thing available for purchase.”

Nodding, I set the toys down and pick up the box marked #9.  Lifting the lid, I smile at the colorful patterns in my sea of silk boxers.  My smile widens when I recall a conversation, Bella and Alice had about underwear.  Chuckling, I tell Peter and Charlotte, “During one of the many instances that Alice was trying to convince Bella to go shopping with her, for underwear that time, Bella told Alice, ‘I don’t need fancy underwear.  No one else is going to see it so why should I spend money on fancy stuff no one will ever see?’

Alice huffed and said ‘You’ll see it and having pretty things on will make you feel better about yourself.’

Bella didn’t say anything for a minute and then she asked, ‘Is that why guys wear boxers with designs on them because even though no one’s going to see them, they at least know they have funky undies on?’

Alice told her, ‘It’s the same premise, they know what’s on under their clothes, and that makes them feel good to know that don’t have just plain white cotton on underneath their outfits.’”

Peter chuckles and says, “I guess Bella wants you to feel good about yourself then.”

Chuckling myself, I nod and pull out the pairs of underwear and tell him, “I guess so.”  I’ve got black with purple and yellow polka dots, blue with orange paisleys, and white with Betty Boop.  Purple with orange and yellow chevrons, red with golden yellow polka dots, green, silver, and black plaid, black with red kisses, brown with orange polka dots, and white with red hearts round out the mix.”

Peter nods before I toss them all back into the box and then hand the box to Charlotte.

He chuckles and says, “I love you like a brother Jasper, but I don’t think I like you giving my wife your underwear.”

I laugh and shrug while Charlotte giggles and hands the box to Peter who sets it aside behind him.

Picking up the next gift I unwrap it and then lift the lid before taking out my new long sleeved t-shirts.  First is a night view of Bryce Canyon with lightning flashing over it.  Next is a white shirt with the image of the Grand Canyon across the front.  I chuckle at the next t-shirt which is midnight blue with a drawing of three old-fashioned ships and people throwing crates over the sides with the words “Boston Tea Party” under it and the date, “December 16, 1773” under that.

A navy blue shirt with a white line drawing of the White House on the back and the words White House Staff on the front right breast is next.  The following one is white with a greet street sign that just says, “Broadway,” on it.

I give my pile of shirts to Peter and then grab the next one which is of the sun setting over the Los Angeles skyline with the back of the Hollywood sign in the foreground as though you’re standing on the top of the hill and looking down at the sign and city in the distance.  The last two are from Disney World in Florida and Disney Land in California with their respective version of the iconic castle on the back and the name of the park and location on the right front breast.

Peter chuckles when I hand the rest of the t-shirts to him and after looking each one over he says, “I dunno, I think Santa’s being sneaky and slipping in an extra eight places to visit.”

Laughing I nod and stand before saying, “Speaking of places to visit…”

I move over to the cork-board and smiling I read each new postcard on the map.  Today’s destinations are in Australia and New Zealand.  I’ve got The Aquarium of Western Australia in Perth, a night shot of the Sydney Opera House all lit up, and a postcard of the Puffing Billy Railway in Melbourne.  In New Zealand, I’ve got The Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa in Wellington, Bowen Falls in Milford Sound, and The Waitomo Caves.  Last is an underwater shot of The Great Barrier Reef which rounds out the collection of postcards.

Smiling I tell them, “Oh, I’ve never been scuba diving before.  Do you think Bella would want to do it like humans do or like vampires?”

Peter chuckles and tells me, “As someone who has swum great distances underwater as a vampire I would highly recommend doing like the humans do.”

I nod, but he continues by saying, “While we don’t need to breathe if you accidentally do you’ll end up having a coughing fit and need to surface to cough up the water.  It was not fun because breathing is instinctual even after so many years of not needing to breathe so I kept forgetting not to breathe.”

Charlotte nods and adds, “I did too.”

Nodding I tell them, “Like the humans do it then!”

They nod back, so I walk over to the tree again and sit before picking up the little box marked #6 and then picking up my computer after taking out the gift card.  Plugging in the redemption code, I tell iTunes to download all six songs, and then I flip over the card and read the song titles.  Laughing I say to Peter, “Well, Peter, it looks like you’re represented today.  The first song is ‘Bad to the Bone’ by George Thorogood and the Destroyers.”

Laughing, he says, “I remember serenading Charlotte with this song shortly after it first came out, God, I think it was 1982.”

Nodding, I tell him, “That’s the year listed.”

He nods back and reaches over picking up Charlotte’s hand before kissing it and then asks, “So what are the other songs?”

Smiling I say, “We’ve got Jesse’s Girl by Rick Springfield (1981), When I See You Smile by Bad English (1989), How am I supposed to Live Without You by Michael Bolton (1990), Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds (1985), and That’s What Friends Are For by Dionne and Friends (1986).”

Charlotte sighs and says, “She’s such a romantic.  I think I’m really going to like her, a lot!”

Nodding I tell her and Peter, “I think all three of you are going to get on like long lost best friends, or I hope so at least.”

Peter nods and tells me, “My gift says that the four of us will be a family and we’ll love each other like siblings, well, except for Charlotte and me and you and Bella who will love each other like mates.”

Nodding again and still smiling, I tell him, “I hope so, I truly do,” before I pick up the next box and open it.  Taking out the wrapped books I tear open the bright wrapping paper and reveal that today’s theme is First Edition Classics.  The Iliad and the Odyssey, both by Homer, Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen round out the collection.

As I unwrapped each one, I handed it to Peter who looked at them and then gave them to Charlotte.  When she opened Jane Eyre, she gasped and then opened Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice before she says, “Uh, Jasper, these aren’t just first editions, they’re signed too.”

I take the three books back and open them, and sure enough, all three are signed by the authors.  I just stare at Jane Austen’s signature for a minute before saying, “Wow!  Hands down best gift giver ever!”

Peter and Charlotte both slowly nod so I nod back and after carefully placing the books in a pile I pick up the box marked #4.  Opening the lid, I take out the four wrapped packages inside and then open the first one to reveal the DVD of “Rebecca.”  Smiling I tell Peter, “I think you’re represented again because I saw this movie in the theater for the first time with you and Charlotte after you convinced me it’d be better than “The Grapes of Wrath.””

He nods so I open the next one and then laughing hold up the DVD of “The Grapes of Wrath” and tell him, “Definitely represented.”

He smiles a wide grin obviously pleased to be included.  Honestly, I’m not surprised.  That’s typical of Bella to include everyone, and these two gifts include not only Peter but Charlotte as well because I really wanted to see “The Grapes of Wrath” so Charlotte took me to see it a few days after the three of us saw “Rebecca.”  Peter was right, and I loved “Rebecca,” but I was right too because I also loved “The Grapes of Wrath” too.

The next gift is another one that is connected to Peter and Charlotte.  When they first rescued me, they taught me all about all the things I had missed out on while enslaved to Maria.  The first movie I ever saw was “It Happened One Night.”  It originally came out in 1934 but when I escaped in 1942 Charlotte was telling me about moving pictures, and I was excited to see one, so we went to the theater and saw a Matinee that was playing “It Happened One Night” and I’ve been hooked on movies ever since.

When “It Happened One Night” was released on VHS Charlotte mailed me a copy.  I played it so often it eventually broke.  Even still it was a gift from Charlotte, so I kept it until Alice was cleaning our closet one day to make room for some new shoes she had just bought and threw it out because it was broken.  Emmett saw it in the trash and knew how important it was to me, so he rescued the tape, and I hid it in my study.  It was one of the things I took from the Cullen’s house when I came back here in October, but now I have a working DVD copy too.

The last gift in the box is enormous like a double wide shoe box.  Tearing the paper off I laugh and tell Peter and Charlotte, “Another one with a memory of you guys attached.  All six Star Wars Movies, including the new one, Revenge of the Sith.”

Peter smiles and says, “Nice, with everything going on I forgot to get it for you before it came out in November.”

I nod because honestly with everything that had happened in the last three months I had forgotten about it too.  However, usually when a new Star Wars movie was coming out on VHS or DVD Peter would send it to me a month before it’s official release date and it wasn’t a bootleg copy it was a real copy.  To this day he refuses to reveal how he gets them a month early, but needless to say, Emmett is a little in love with Peter as a result.  In fact, it was Emmett and me who introduced Bella to the joy that is the Star Wars Franchise while she was recovering from her battle with James.  Alice and Rose went shopping to buy Bella’s blue Prom dress, but Bella still was in too much pain to be trying clothes on so they didn’t make her go with them and she got to stay behind.  Then Edward got caught up helping Esme with something, so Emmett and I kept her company, and we watched all five movies that were out at the time.  Then when The Revenge of the Sith came out to theaters, Emmett talked Edward into all of us going and watching it on the big screen.

Peter smiles and says, “I guess now I know why my gift told me not to get it for you once I remembered last month.”

I nod and ask, “Star Wars Marathon today?”

He and Charlotte both nod vigorously, so I pick up the box marked #3 and take out the three wrapped journals.  Today’s diaries have covers decorated with the southern night sky, Degas’ Four Ballerinas on the Stage, and my family portrait.

Damn, she really is the best gift giver ever.  When I show the journal covers to Peter and Charlotte they nod and agree before Peter says, “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, ‘She is the best gift giver known to man.’”

Nodding to show I agree, I take the box marked #2 when Charlotte hands it to me and take out the two bottles of custom-cologne, hmm, Roses and Jasmine today.

Taking off the first cap I’m hit with the scent of roses and my mind flashes on the face of my mother who always wore rose water.  In my mind, she’s smiling and laughing at something I had just said.

That scratchy feeling is back behind my eyelids, so I close the bottle and hand it to Charlotte before opening the second one.  I’ve barely gotten it open when the scent hits me, and this time it’s Mary-Sue’s face that swims before my eyes.  In the memory, I’m smiling down at her as we dance while Pa plays his guitar.  I must have been 11 or 12 at the time and Father was teaching us how to dance like a proper gentleman and lady.

Closing the bottle, I just sit there for a moment watching my sister’s smiling face in my mind’s eye.

A soft hand on mine startles me out of the memory.  When I look up Charlotte’s frowning before she asks, “You alright, Jasper?”

I just nod and reach over and pick up the last box of the day.  As I move the package, the sound of rustling paper comes from within the box, so I tear off the Santa wrapping paper and then open the box.  Pushing the tissue paper out of the way I swallow hard and pick up one of the wooden horse figurines my father, brother, and I worked together carving.  We made a whole Calvary of horses and soldiers, and it took us most of my childhood and teen years to finish them all.  And now they’re all here in this box.

I really wish I could cry right now and release the pressure I feel behind my eyes.  I jump in place when the ‘HUG’ pillow Bella gave me yesterday magically appears in my lap.  Whispering I tell her, “Thank you, Darlin’.”

When I look up from the box, I’m surprised to find Peter and Charlotte still sitting there and smiling at me.

Peter pats my shoulder and says, “I believe someone promised us a Star Wars Marathon?”

Nodding I place the box with the toy soldiers beside me and then pick up the movies before standing and leading the way to the movie room.


Saturday, December 24, 2005


There are only two more days before I discover if my dreams have come true and Bella survived, well today and then the big reveal should be tomorrow.

I actually managed to lose track of time reading two of my new books.  ‘How the South Could Have Won the Civil War’ took up the early morning hours, and then I followed that up with ‘How Hitler Could Have Won World War II.’  Bevin Alexander is an excellent author, and he seems to know and understand the facts and concepts he’s presenting.  Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy both books and the next thing I know I’m done with the second book, and it’s 8:07 a.m. and Peter’s knocking on my bedroom door.

I call out, “Come in, Peter.”

He stomps in and puts his hands on his hips before tapping his foot and pointing his finger at my bathroom door and saying, “I’ve waited as long as I can.  I’m not a patient man, Jasper.  You should know that by now, so go shower so Santa can show up.”

Laughing, I place my book on the bedside table and swing my legs off the edge of the bed.  Standing I walk towards the bathroom, but just before I get to the door, I stop and turn so Peter shakes his head and points again and gives a little stomp with his foot, “Whatever you want to say can wait.  Shower now, talk later!”

Nodding, I enter the bathroom and close the door behind me.

I contemplate dragging my shower out just to mess with him, but part of me is afraid he’ll come in here and drag me out, so I shower as quickly as I can.  After drying off, I enter my bedroom pleased, both to see that Peter isn’t waiting for me and also to see that as Peter had planned, Santa delivered my gifts while I showered.

Throwing on the Hollywood Sign T-Shirt and a pair of relaxed dark wash jeans, a set of warm socks complete the outfit before I call out, “Santa Came.”

I laugh when I hear Peter sigh out, “Finally!”

A moment later Peter and Charlotte are sitting in front of the Christmas Tree and no lie, Peter is bouncing in his seat.

Chuckling I tell them, “I apologize for the delay, but blame Bella.”

Peter quirks an eyebrow and asks, “How do you figure she’s to blame?”

Smiling a big smile, I tell him, “It’s her fault because I lost track of time while reading two of the books she gave me.”

Peter nods and then grabs the card off the box marked #11 and shoves it at me while saying, “Fine, Bella’s to blame.  Will you open the card already?”  And he wiggles the card I still haven’t taken from his outstretched hand.

Chuckling again, I take the card from him earning a smile.  I open it and then pausing I consider reading it silently, but when Peter sighs again at the delay I take pity on him and read out loud, “On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Eleven things to take pictures, Ten dinner reservations, Nine boxers to wear, Eight t-shirts to rock, Seven places to visit, Six songs to reminisce about, Five books to read, Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

Handing the card to Peter, I then take the box marked #11 from Charlotte.  This package is heavier than all of the other ones have been, except maybe the books.  Lifting the lid, I find eleven wrapped packages so I begin unwrapping them.  When I finish, I have a Canon camera, three lenses, a table tripod, three filters, batteries and a charger, a 64 GB memory card, and a book on DSLR cameras.

Smiling I recall offering to teach Bella how to use a DSLR camera so I know these are probably more for her use than mine and the real gift will be getting to show her a new skill and spending time with her while we’re doing it.

Putting everything back into the box I grab the next package and open it to find ten smaller boxes inside.  Taking them out I unwrap each one and take out another stuffed animal.  This time I have a lion, a tiger, a black bear, a brown bear, a polar bear, a mountain lion, a wolf, the comic book character Wolverine, a panther and a shark.”

Laughing, and even though she’s not present, I say to Bella, “You had me until the shark.”

I sense amusement off in the distance and Peter and Charlotte both turn their heads towards the window when we hear faint giggling.

Peter’s eyebrow raises before he says, “I guess she’s close by because tomorrow is the big reveal.”

I nod and grab the next box.  Opening it, I find nine pairs of silk boxers with animals on them.  I’ve got a red pair with lion heads, green ones with coiled snakes, a blue pair with polar bears, white ones with monkey’s and bananas, a blue pair with tigers, white ones with seals, a light blue pair with sharks, black boxers with Snoopy and his red dog house, and a white pair with red cardinals on it.

Tossing my pile of boxers onto the foot of my bed I reach for the box marked #8. Opening it, I start pulling out long-sleeved t-shirts.  I bark out a laugh when I see the first one, which says, “Let’s Eat Grandma” on one line then “Let’s Eat, Grandma” below it, both of which are above a picture of a boy with silverware in his hands and a worried looking grandma.  Below the image, it says, “Commas save lives.”

Handing the shirt to Peter I pull out the next one, which has a picture of an atom on it and underneath the image, it says, “Never trust an Atom, they make up everything.”

Next is a grey t-shirt that says, “You look really funny doing that with your head!” and the words are written sideways.  I laugh at myself when I realize that I tilted my head to the side to read the shirt.

Pulling out another one it has two pictures.  The first one is of two stick figures moving a couch and says “Friend” underneath the drawing.  The next picture is of two stick figures moving a body with the words, “Best Friend” underneath it.

I toss it at Peter and tell him, “As my best friend who has helped me move and hide bodies I might let you borrow that shirt from time to time.”

Holding it up, he gets a good look at it and laughs before nodding.

Next, I take out a shirt with a picture of a toothbrush that is saying, “I hate my job!” and a picture of a roll of toilet paper asking, “Seriously?”

I give that one to Charlotte and tell her, “Look it’s you and Peter.   He bitches about his not so horrible lot in life, and you ask, ‘Seriously?’”

Peter laughs and says, “Hey, I might resemble that remark!”

I nod and grab the next shirt out of the box which says, “Shut your π

 Hole.”

I chuckle after I read the next one that says, “Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so then I go back to being myself.”

I toss it at Peter and tell him, “Hey that one’s you too.”

He reads it and nods so I take the final one out of the box and then burst out laughing.  The top of the shirt says, “The Ass Family.”  Below that are drawings with titles below them: a father with the word “Wise” under it, then a mother and the word “Smart,” then a teenage boy and the word “Lazy,” then a teenage girl and the word, “Kiss,” and then finally, a toddler with the word, “Dumb” underneath the drawing.

Charlotte leans around the shirt to look at it and says, “Hey, it’s the Cullen’s!”

We all hear that faint giggling in the distance again and the feeling of Bella’s amusement envelopes me.  I sigh at the feeling because everyone’s emotions feel different from everyone else’s.  Peter’s love or anger feel different than Charlotte’s, and hers feels different than Esme’s love or anger.  The amusement I’m feeling definitely ‘tastes’ like Bella’s amusement, so most of my remaining doubt about Santa’s identity fades away.

I don’t comment on Charlotte’s comment or what I’m feeling and instead toss the t-shirt to Peter and get up to look at the map on my wall and see what destinations have been added today.  Hmm, mostly Asian countries today.  There are postcards for Tokyo Disneyland in Japan, The Singapore Skyline at night, Hong Kong Disneyland, which just opened in September, Changdeokgung in Seoul, South Korea, The National Palace Museum in Taipei, Taiwan, The Yuyuan Garden in Shanghai, China, and last but not least, The Red Fort in New Delhi, India.

Peter chuckles and says, “I think someone wearing a Santa Hat this week plans to have us all visit every Disney Park in the world.”

I feel Bella’s amusement and her agreement with that statement so I tell Peter, “I can feel her amusement and her agreement, so I think you’re right.  Be honest, though, how many of the theme parks haven’t you been to yet?”

Charlotte laughs and tells me, “Ha, he’s got you pegged, Peter.”

Peter just shrugs and says, “Well, the one in Hong Kong only just opened, so I haven’t been to that one yet.”

I just nod and tell him, “Well, stick with Bella, and you might get to see the Hong Kong one sooner rather than later.”

He smiles and nods slowly and deeply before I tell him, “As for me, I’ve never been to any of the Disney parks, and I haven’t been to any of these cities before either, but they were all on Bella’s long list of future travel destinations.”

They nod, and Charlotte says, “Except for Tokyo Disney we haven’t either.”

I nod in response, and we go back to the tree, but I veer off and grab my computer off my desk before sitting back down.

Peter hands me the little box marked #6, so I tear off the paper and open it before pulling out the card and typing in the redemption code.  Then I flip the card to see what music I got today.  The first song is “Come See Me Tonight” by Daniel Johnston (1998).  That’s followed by “Atom Bomb” by Fluke (1997), “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails (1994), “I’ve Been Thinking About You” by London Beat (1991), “How Do You Talk To An Angel” by The Heights (1991), and UB40’s cover of “Can’t Help Falling In Love” from 1993, which rounds out the collection.

Looking at my computer screen, I double click on Atom Bomb causing it to begin playing.  Smiling I tell Peter and Charlotte, “You might remember this one from The Saint.”

Peter chuckles and says, “I LOVE that movie, and I’m kind of pissed I promised not to make you guys watch it over and over.”

Laughing at him I smile and say, “I learned my lesson with Emmett, anyway, he used to play this song all the time when the movie first came out, and he’d walk around singing it constantly until Edward and Alice staged an intervention.”

Peter smiles and says, “It is a catchy tune.”

Nodding I tell him, “It is, so catchy, in fact, that six hours from now you’ll still be hearing it in your head.”

He just nods before handing me the fifth box, so I open it and take out the five wrapped books.  Tearing off the wrapping paper, I reveal Aesop’s Fables, Andersen’s Fairytales, The Brothers’ Grimm Fairytales, Canterbury Tales, and a 17-volume copy of The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe published in 1902.  Nice.

Smiling I hand all of the books to Charlotte who gently places them on the ground beside her, and I take the fourth box from Peter and unwrap the rather tall box.  Opening the lid, I find three tubes like maps or paintings would be stored in and an envelope on the bottom of the box.

Picking up the envelope I open it and take out another iTunes gift card.  Reaching over to my computer I plug in the redemption code and smile and chuckle when I discover that Santa bought me a nature album full of the sounds of the Texas Countryside.  I click download and then set the computer aside again before I take out the first tube and slide a print out of it.

Unrolling it I smile and tell Peter and Charlotte, “We were in the same AP Art History class I told you about the other day, and we were learning about Jackson Pollock.  I argued with most of the class that splashing some paint on a canvas with no rhyme or reason should not a multi-million dollar painting make.  I told them that in terms of Modern artists give me Van Gogh, Manet, Monet, Degas, Duchamp, or even Mondrian, and I’m all in, but paint drips?  No, thank you.  Bella pointed out that Pollock hadn’t always haphazardly thrown paint on canvases and called them paintings and she used this painting, “Going West” from 1935 as her proof.  I told her I thought it was a lovely painting and the work of a master but that in all likelihood this and his other non-drip pieces were probably selling for a lot less than his drip paintings.

Charlotte leans over and looks at the print and smiling says, “That is lovely, isn’t it?”

I nod and then turn the print so Peter can see it.  He nods, and then I roll it back up and put it back into its tube.

Setting it aside I open the next tube and find a print of Mondrian’s 1943 Painting “Broadway Boogie-Woogie.”

Chuckling I tell them, “Jessica Stanley tried to argue that if Pollock’s paintings didn’t require talent then neither did Mondrian’s work but I pointed out that this and Mondrian’s other color compositions highlighted the artist’s understanding of both color and compositional balance in ways that Pollock’s didn’t.  Bella furthered my argument by drawing three red boxes on a blank sheet of paper and saying, ‘Three red boxes, which just about anyone can draw in 10 seconds without much thought or talent involved.  Mondrian, however, didn’t just draw boxes he drew compositionally balanced paintings and took not just the visual weight of each shape into account, but he also took the weight of the color of each box making a dynamic painting as opposed to my rather plain and lopsided drawing.’”

I pause and then add, “She added that ‘Pollock had the know how to do what Mondrian did, but he said himself that he used no rhyme or reason in regards to deciding what colors or the types of drips to use.  Mondrian, on the other hand, used everything he had been taught about composition to make visually pleasing artwork and there is movement conveyed in the piece too without the disorganized and haphazard drips that Pollock used.’  Needless to say, our teacher was quite pleased with both of us that day.”

I turn the print around and show it to them so they can see it without having to lean around the page.  They nod, and Charlotte says, “I’ve always enjoyed that painting.”

Nodding back I tell her, “I know, I think that’s why I took such offense to Jessica’s argument.”

Charlotte just smiles, so I put the print back in its tube.  Then I open the last one before laughing and showing them the reproduction of Marcel Duchamp’s “Nude Descending a Staircase (No. 2)” from 1912 and tell them, “Now here is a painter I enjoy who could depict movement on a canvas just by using shapes to convey that movement.  He did it almost effortlessly too.”  They nod, so I tell them, “Emmett wanted to know where the interesting bits were if it was a nude.”

Peter laughs until I give him the same arched eyebrow Charlotte is giving him and tell him, “Don’t pretend you didn’t think it too!”

He grins and shrugs so I smile back before rolling it up and putting it back into the tube.

Laying the tube beside the other two, I accept the box marked #3 when Charlotte hands it to me and open the lid before taking out the three wrapped journals and ripping the paper off of each one revealing three more board covers with designs on them.  All three are brightly painted Positive (Negative Space) paintings.   The first is an intensely green forest, the second is of fallen leaves, and the third is of flowers.

Peter hands me the second box, so I put the journals down and take out two more bottles of the custom-cologne.

Laughing I hand the one labeled “Orchids” to Charlotte and tell her, “You’re represented today.”

She smiles and opens the cap, and I’m hit with the memory of Peter begging me to let him and Charlotte escape.  I knew I’d have hell to pay when Maria discovered Peter was missing.  However, I also knew I couldn’t kill Charlotte or make Peter do it for me, so I kissed her on the cheek and hugged him before telling them both to run as if the hounds of hell were chasing them and they did just that.  I’m still amazed that they risked Maria’s wrath by coming back to rescue me, and I’ll never be able to fully pay them back for saving me.  I knew Maria didn’t trust me anymore and I knew she feared me and was getting closer and closer to trying to end me so they really did save my life because I’m still not sure I would have fought back if Maria had attacked me, that’s how depressed and wracked with guilt I was.

The scent of Pomegranates snaps me out of my memories of how I was, and I turn to look at Peter before grabbing the bottle out of his hand and asking, “What did I tell you?”

He grins unrepentantly and says, “Then don’t take so long.  No depressing trips down memory lane, only happy memories allowed, especially if you’re going to be projecting your emotions like you are right now.”

Umm, oops.  I stop projecting my emotions and then chuckling I nod and tell Peter, “I’ll forgive you this time.”

He nods back so I nod once more and then inhale the scent of the Pomegranate fruit before telling them, “My mother somehow got her hands on a pomegranate, but she couldn’t figure out how to eat it.  She loved the scent though so she’d buy one anytime she saw them for sale and would break them open and smash the little berries to make the scent stronger.”

Charlotte smiles and says, “I’ve never had a pomegranate, but I’ve always enjoyed the smell of them.”

Peter nods so I nod and say, “Me too,” then Charlotte hands me the last box of the day.  Unwrapping the square package, I open it and pull out a page boy cap.  I can still faintly smell human Peter on it.

Frowning he asks, “Why does that look familiar?”

Smiling I tell him, “Because you were wearing it the night I turned you.  When you fled, I found it in the corner of the room you and the other vampires stayed in during the daylight hours.  I held onto it until you came back for me.  I thought it was in the bag of things I took with me but when we got to where you were staying it wasn’t in the bag, and I realized it got lost in the shuffle.  I always figured Maria would have burnt it out of spite.”

Peter is grinning from ear to ear before he pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear, “I love you too, Jasper.”

I just nod and hold on tight for a minute before pulling away.

He smiles wider and says, “Guess I really am a Whitlock if Bella gave it to you as a family treasure.”

I just nod with an answering smile on my face and tell them both, “You really are, both of you.  I know if my Pa had met you he’d be proud that both now carry his name.”

Charlotte leans over and hugs me and whispers, “Thank you, Jasper.”  When she lets go, she stands and holds down her hand before telling me, “Come on, I sense a Whitlock family Marathon of the Three Godfather Movies.”

Nodding I turn off the music that was still playing in the background and then take her hand and allow her to help me stand.

After I grab the movies the three of us head out to the movie room and spend the rest of the day watching The Godfather I, II, and III, Scarface, and then Gone with the Wind.

When the last movie ends, I look at the clock and see that it’s ten minutes to midnight.

Looking at them I smile and tell them, “I’ll holler when I’m done taking my shower.”

They both nod, so I nod back and then walk up the stairs to my bedroom.

Author’s note:   I know that Photoshop Lightroom wasn’t released until January of 2006 so just pretend that it came out in January 2005 so that it can be included in my story.  Thanks.

Sunday, December 25, 2005


 

Twelve minutes later, I come out of my bathroom with just my towel wrapped around my waist.  I stop and stare for a moment because there is my girl standing beside my tree wearing jeans and a red t-shirt with the image of a lit Christmas Tree on it.  She also has a Santa Hat perched on top of her curly brown tresses and a green ribbon tied around her neck.

Her bright red eyes widen when she sees me come out wearing nothing but a towel.  A moment later she whistles and says, “Damn, Jasper, you’re beautiful, even more than I thought when I was human.”

I shift uneasily because I know her new vampire eyes are allowing her to see all of the scars covering almost every inch of me.

Her eyes travel the length of my body and her smile grows with every inch she takes in before she nods once and says, “Beautiful, every inch of you.”

She pauses then adds, almost as an afterthought, “Merry Christmas, Jasper.”

Moving as quickly as I can, I stand mere inches from her and then slowly bring my hands to her face and gently cup her cheeks before asking, “Are you real?”

She giggles and nods telling me, “I’m real.  I promise.”

Just nodding, a moment later I give in to the impulse and crash my lips down on hers.  God, since I realized it was very possible Bella wasn’t permanently dead, I’ve daydreamed about our reunion, but it pales in comparison to the reality of this moment.

When I pull away, we’re both gasping for breath neither one of us needs anymore.  Bella touches her lips with her fingers and whispers, “Hubba, Hubba.  If that’s what it feels like to kiss you what’s it going to feel like to do other things?”

Laughing I pull her close and kiss her forehead before just holding her.  A moment later there is a knock on the door so calling out, “Hold on a minute,” I then rush over to my dresser and take out the “Friends” vs. “Best Friends” long sleeved t-shirt she bought me and a pair of jeans before hurrying back into the bathroom.

Feeling playful now that I know that my prayers have been answered I drop my towel flashing my ass at Bella just before I close the door.

I laugh when I hear her say through the door, “Holy Moly.  The man is a Greek God!  Hmm, the God of War maybe?” and then she has a fit of giggles at her own joke.

Less than 60 seconds later, I’m dressed and back in my bedroom.  I just stand there for a minute not believing my good fortune before I chuckle and ask, “Are you ready to meet my brother and sister?”

She nods with wide eyes, so I move her away from the path to the tree and then softly say, “Santa has arrived!”

Opening the door, I step to the side and just in time too to avoid being knocked over, and then I laugh when Peter and Charlotte stop in their tracks a foot or two inside the doorway.

They just stare at Bella so when she begins to fidget I clear my throat and say, “Santa, this is Peter and Charlotte Whitlock.  Peter, Char, this is Bella Swan.”

I swear both Charlotte and Bella would be crying right now if it was physically possible.  After a long pause, Bella says, “It’s nice to meet you both.  I know how much you mean to Jasper and I just want you to know that I’m not Alice or the other Cullen’s so I won’t be trying to dictate who Jasper can or can’t spend his time with.  That’s so not my style.  Plus the two of you make him happy, so that makes you alright in my book.”

Peter and Charlotte nod and Char says, “Thank you, not just for what you just said but for restoring Jasper’s hope too.”

Bella nods back and then smiling asks me, “So do you want the story of how I came to be here or your gifts first?”

I kind of want an explanation now, but when I look at the expectant faces of my brother and sister, I decide I can wait for a little longer, so smiling I tell her, “Let’s put Peter out of his misery and do the gifts first.”

All three of them nod and move to sit beside the tree.  I follow suit and pick up the card on top of the box marked #12.  Opening it, I pause to smile at Bella before reading out loud, “On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me… Twelve boots to kick ass in, Eleven things to take pictures, Ten dinner reservations, Nine boxers to wear, Eight t-shirts to rock, Seven places to visit, Six songs to reminisce about, Five books to read, Four things that remind her of me, Three journals to write in, Two scents to smell, and One family treasure.”

Bella hands me the large box, and giggling says, “I got lazy, so I didn’t wrap the individual boots.”

Laughing I nod and begin taking boots out of the box.  I’ve got two pairs of cowboy boots, one black and one brown, and three pairs of combat boots in blonde, green and black.  Next are a pair of black dress boots and another pair in brown and then a black pair of Doc Martins.

I raise my eyebrow at her when I pull out two pairs of hiking boots in green and brown.  Bella shrugs and says, “I figure the hiking boots will come in handy when we hunt our dinner reservations.”

Chuckling I nod again and take out a pair of work boots and a good-looking pair of black leather motorcycle boots.  Tossing all of the ass-kickers back into the box I push the package behind me and smile when I take the eleventh box from Bella.

Opening it, I find a Fish Eye Lens, a Wide Angle Lens, a full tripod, a slave flash, a remote, two 64 GB memory cards, Photoshop, the new Photoshop Lightroom, and two books called ‘Classroom in a Book,’ one each for both Photoshop and Photoshop Lightroom.

Smiling I ask, “Are these all for your use or mine?”

She smiles back and reaches over touching the back of my hand before telling me, “These are all yours.  I got duplicates of everything for myself.  This way when you’re teaching me, we’ll have all the same equipment, and we won’t have to make allowances for differences between cameras or whatever.”

That makes sense so nodding I ask, “Out of curiosity, how exactly did you afford all of these gifts?”

Smirking she says, “You were right about the millions in the Cullen’s house, although, I actually found 21 million and then I had my own account that my parents didn’t know about.   I had been using it to save up for college since I was six-years-old and started doing odd jobs around the neighborhood to help Renee with the bills.  By that point, I was managing our finances so what I didn’t use towards the bills I put into my account.  If I put it in the family account, Renee would have spent it, so I actually had three accounts. The first was the one Renee knew about and used.  I would put any money I didn’t give Renee from her own paychecks into a second account she didn’t know about, and then the third account was mine.  I used that one to put what I personally earned in it after the bills were paid.  My account actually had just over $68,000 in it, and I also had $75,000 in IRAs.”

Peter’s scowling before he asks, “Your mother let her six-year-old not just manage but also help pay the household bills?”

Bella nods so Peter nods back and says, “Then it’s best I never meet your mother because I won’t be held responsible for what I would do if I did ever meet such a selfish creature.”

Bella’s eyes are round, but she just nods again and then hands me the tenth box.  Taking the lid off I take out each box and unwrap it before sliding various stuffed animals out of the smaller boxes.  When I’m done, I have a blue wildebeest, a kudu, an eland, a buffalo, a warthog, the Tasmanian Devil cartoon character, an impala, a waterbuck, a springbok, and a villain in a black cape and mask.

I hold up the criminal and ask, “If you were feeding on wildlife your eyes would be a muddy red on their way to being topaz by now, but they’re actually just as bright red as ours are.  You’re really eating humans?”

She nods and says, “Yes.  I don’t feel bad feeding on violent criminals, and really we’re doing a public service.”

I nod and reach over for her hand before bringing it to my lips and kissing the back of it.

She beams at me and then hands me the ninth box, which appears to be full of Christmas Themed boxers today.  She got me everything from Reindeer, Santa and his sled, Christmas Trees, colorfully wrapped presents, various ornaments, Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer, The Grinch, lit candles of varied colors, and Santa’s Elves.

Peter hands me the eighth box and says, “After yesterday’s t-shirts I can’t wait to see what ones she got you today!”

I nod and unwrap the box before pulling off the lid.  The first shirt I take out of the box has me laughing because it says, “I May Be Wrong, But It’s Highly Unlikely.”

Holding the shirt so everyone can see it I look at Bella and smirking tell her, “It’s good that you already know this about me.”

She just giggles but nods, so I hand her the t-shirt and grab the next one.

Laughing again I tell her, “I think this fits Peter better than it fits me.”

The shirt says, “I’m Not Always Rude And Sarcastic, Sometimes I’m Asleep.”

Peter laughs and says, “I may very well resemble that remark, but you love me anyway, Jasper Whitlock.”

I just smile and nod before taking out the next long-sleeved t-shirt, which is bright yellow with the word “Batman” inside a black Batman symbol and the words, “Always Be Yourself, Unless You’re Batman, Then Be Batman,” below it in black.

Peter nods and says, “I might have to steal that one every now and then.”

Shaking my head, I ask, “Am I going to need to put a padlock on my dresser drawer?”

He nods and wearing a grin says, “Maybe.”

Laughing I toss the t-shirt at him and pull out the next one, which is heather grey and has a dog staring at a lit birthday cake and the words, “But You Lit My Food ON FIRE” below it.

The next one has me laughing harder when I read, “Screw Your ‘Lab Safety,’ I Want Superpowers,” with a drawing of a beaker full of a bubbling green liquid to the side of the words.

Charlotte laughs too and asks Bella, “If you tell me where you got all of these I’ll buy the ones Peter likes, so he’s not constantly stealing them from Jasper.”

Bella nods with a broad smile and says, “We’ll talk later.”

They both nod at each other before I grab the next t-shirt which is black with a silhouette of Batman’s head in red and under it are the words, “I’m Not Saying I’m Batman.  I’m Just Saying No One Has Ever Seen Batman and Me in a Room Together.”

When I grab the next one I laugh and tell Bella, “I’m never going to smell that “Going Bananas” Cologne quite the same way ever again.”

She laughs and says, “You’re welcome,” which just makes me laugh even harder because the image on the shirt is of a censored Banana shucking it’s peel and the words, “Let’s Get Naked,” written under the peel.

Giggling again she tells me, “I think the last one might better describe Peter than you, but I thought it was funny.”

Nodding I take out the grey long sleeved t-shirt and read the words, “I Don’t Know How To Act My AGE. I’ve Never Been This Age Before.”  The word Age is in Green Caps and the rest of the phrase in title case black.

Smiling broader I tell her, “I think you might be right about that.”

She nods deeply and so does Charlotte when she sees the shirt.  Peter just grins at all of us but doesn’t say anything in response.

Shaking my head at my brother, I get up and walk over to the map.  All the travel destinations she’s added today are in Africa.  We’ve got postcards of The Sphinx in Egypt, The Pyramids, also in Egypt, Table Mountain in Cape Town, South Africa, Victoria Falls, in Zambia and Zimbabwe (that one actually has two postcards, one from either side of the falls.) The Sahara Dunes in Morocco are next, followed by Djmaa el Fna, which is also in Morocco, and last but not least, Spitzkoppe in Namibia.

Smiling I tell her, “I’ve never been to Africa.  Rose and Emmett go every decade or two, but Alice never wanted to go.”

She nods and says, “Well, I’m hoping the four of us can spend next year putting a dent in this list.  Be forewarned, however, that each location has a sublist in one of my journals so we’ll probably take a few years to get to see everything I want to see and of course feel free to add places you guys want to go to as well.  I am an equal opportunity vacationer.”

We all laugh at that but nod, so we move back over to the tree where Bella hands me the little box full of music.  When I take it from her, she warns, “Today’s songs are mostly about the Cullen’s with thee songs about Edward and one about Rose and Emmett and another about Alice. Blood by the Editors is about you though, Jasper.”

I nod and open the box before flipping over the card and reading out loud, “We’ve got “Don’t Stay” by Linkin Park (2003), which I’m assuming is about Alice or maybe Edward?”

Bella nods and says, “Alice.”

I nod back and grin when I read the next song title, ““Don’t Let It Get You Down” by Spoon (2002).  Let me guess: Rose & Emmett?”

She nods again, so I read the next two titles and tell her, “Breakin’ by The Music (2005) and “Clocks” by Cold Play (2002).  Edward?”

Smiling she nods, so I nod back and tell her, “You said “Blood” by Editors (2005) is about me, so that leaves “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson (2005).  I assume it’s your message to Edward though I think it could easily be my message to Alice too.”

She’s frowning when she says, “Mostly I associate it with the time just after you all left.  Jessica told me to be like Kelly Clarkson and sing that song at the top of my lungs and then ‘get over’ Edward because she doubted he’d ever come back.  Needless to say, her advice was not helpful at all.”

I reach over and hug her before telling her, “Got to love Jessica Stanley.”

Bella shakes her head and says, “No, no I don’t.”

I chuckle and say, “Come on, we both know she meant well.  I doubt she had any malicious intent.  Lauren probably would have intended the statement to hurt you, but I never felt malicious intent from Jessica, a big dose of jealousy anytime Mike Newton paid you too much attention, but she genuinely liked and cared about you.”

Bella’s eyes are wide before she asks, “Really, she didn’t hate me?”

I shake my head and say, “Not at all, quite the opposite really.  I got the impression that she spent a lot of her time trying to impress you but that was because she felt you were better than her or more mature at least, so she tried to impress you, but she had no bad or mean feelings towards or about you.”

Bella shakes her head and says, “Wow, sorry Jessica, I totally read you wrong.  Do you think I could write her a letter?  Or probably not since I’m missing and Charlie would latch onto any sign that I’m not dead.”  I just nod, so she nods back and says, “Then I’ll just have to send good vibes her way then, maybe make sure she gets a full ride to whatever school she wants to go to.  I think she’s looking pretty hard at Brown.  She’s got the grades so I’m sure she’ll get in so I’ll just make sure she gets a mysterious scholarship to pay for tuition and housing and maybe some of her expenses.”

Nodding I lean in and kiss her before pulling back and telling her, “I love that about you Bella if you discover you’re wrong about someone or something you own it and then try to make up for your mistake.  And for the record, I think that’s a lovely idea.  If you don’t object, I could create the Bella Swan Scholarship since I’m not missing or believed dead and she can be the first recipient.  I think it would mean a lot to her if it had your name attached to it.”

She nods with a big grin on her face and then leans over and kisses me softly on the lips before pulling away and saying, “I love that idea Jasper, let’s do that.”

I nod and then lean over to plug the redemption code into my computer and then tell iTunes to download all six songs.  Then I grab the fifth box and ask, “I wonder what books you got me today?”

She laughs and says, “All signed first editions.  I think a couple you’ve read, but a few are ones I think you’d like such as Ender’s Game and American Gods.”

Nodding I take out the wrapped books and tear off all the paper before reading the titles to Peter and Charlotte, “I’ve got the aforementioned “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman and “Ender’s Game” by Orson Scott Card.  Then I’ve got “The Martian” by Andy Weir, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by Douglas Adams, and “The Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood.  Very nice Bella.  I look forward to reading these.”

She smiles but then leans over and grabs the fourth box and hands it to me.  What I really wanted her to do was lean over in the other direction and kiss me again, but I suppose I’ll have to live with opening another present, so I open the lid and look inside the box.  There is another tube like the prints came in yesterday, a shirt box and two smaller boxes.  Taking the tube out, I open it and slide the print out.  Laughing after I’ve unrolled it, she tells me, “I made that.  I figure you’re the emotion man so you should have a print full of Emoji on it.”

Laughing I nod and tell her, “It’s perfect.”

She smiles widely and nods so after rolling it back up and putting it back into its tube I pick up and unwrap the shirt box to find a pair of worn jeans in my size and preferred style of cut.  She shrugs and says, “Every time I would see you in Forks you’d be wearing Dockers and khaki’s, and I always thought you looked uncomfortable, so I decided to get you a pair of jeans, which can I just say seeing you now in jeans, you look much more relaxed.”

Peter laughs and says, “It’s not the jeans, Bella, it’s you who has relaxed him.”

I just nod, so she smiles and ducks her head like she always has when she’s embarrassed.  I miss her blushes, but if it means getting to keep her for eternity, then I’ll happily give up her flushed faces.

Not wanting to prolong her embarrassment I pick up and unwrap one of the smaller boxes.  Inside I find a figurine of a Bluebonnet flower.  Smiling I ask, “Do you know they used to grow along the base of the house I grew up in?”

She nods and says, “Yes.  That’s why I got it for you. So you can have a little piece of home with you wherever you are.  Incidentally, the next gift is also for that reason.”

Smiling I gently place it on the floor and then open the last small box to find a figurine of a Northern Mockingbird.  Chuckling I tell them all, “At least one of these had a nest by our house, and they’d wake me up every morning with their constant chirping.  I wanted to shoot the little bugger, but my sister wouldn’t let me.”

Peter laughs and says, “The job of baby sisters everywhere is to spoil their older brothers’ fun.”

I just nod and then set the figurine down beside the other one.

Turning to look at Bella I ask, “Why do you feel devious?”

Laughing she tells me, “I may have been naughty with this next gift, or at least you’ll think so.”

Shaking my head, I ask, “What did you do?”

She just laughs again and says, “Open the box and find out,” then she hands me the box marked #3.

Chuckling I tell her, “Yes Ma’am,” then I open the box and take out the three wrapped journals.  Tearing the paper off the first one, I frown and tell her, “No, no way.  I’m throwing this one out.”

She laughs and asks, “You kept Peter’s dirty hat for decades, but you can’t stomach the idea of having a journal with Jackson Pollock’s “Reflection of the Big Dipper,” even though it’s from your one true love?”

Laughing I bump shoulders with her and tell her, “I’ll keep it, but it’ll spend all of its time in the back of my closet, and when I finally take it out and write in it I’ll spend half the book writing about how horrible this painting is.”

She giggles and nods before saying, “Fair enough.”

Peter takes the book from me and looks at it before saying, “Oh, I get it it’s one of the splatter paintings!”

I nod and tell him and Charlotte, “Yes, and I think we covered yesterday how much I don’t enjoy them.”

Bella shrugs and says, “I wasn’t going to get you any Pollocks other than “Going West” and I actually was shopping for something else when I saw it and thought, ‘Why not?’ so I bought it.”

Smiling I tell her, “Uh huh, just know I’ll get you back.  I’m not sure how yet, but if I have to own and use this then I will find something you can’t stand and make you have to put up with it.”

She grins and says, “No you won’t, and you want to know why?”

I just nod so she grins a wide grin and says, “Because you love me and I’m alive, and that makes up for one Jackson Pollock drip painting covered journal.”

I laugh but then stop and look her square in the eyes and tell her, “You being alive makes up for all the horrible things in the world, including this journal.”

She grins and nods so I lean in and kiss her softly before tearing the paper off the last two journals, which are of Norman Rockwell’s “No Swimming” from 1921 and Manet’s “Luncheon on the Grass (Le Déjeuner sur l’Herbe)” from 1862 & 1863.

Bella picks up the Rockwell one and tells us, “I thought about using this for one of the things that remind me of you because every time I see this painting I picture you as a boy sneaking into a neighbor’s pond despite the ‘No Swimming’ Sign posted in clear view.”

I just nod and then lean over for another kiss.  God, I can’t help myself.  The good news is that Bella doesn’t seem to mind so smiling I reach behind her and pull the second box closer to me before lifting the lid and taking out the two bottles of custom-cologne.

Before I can look at the labels, Charlotte asks, “Bella, where do you get the custom-colognes because they hardly smell of any chemicals?”

She ducks her head again and says, “I may or may not have set up a laboratory in Carlisle’s office.  I always excelled at science, and I was bored, so I just messed around a bit until I realized all the perfumes and colognes in the world smell heavily of chemicals.  So then I got serious about it.  I’m working on a list of scents besides these, and I plan to market them to humans and vampires alike.  They’ll say they’re free of harsh smelling chemicals.  I have a few other vampire contacts I’ve met in the last two months, so they plan to get the word out about the product amongst their other vampire friends, and Mr. Jenks is setting me up with a marketing firm to help me sell the scents to both humans and vampires.”

She pauses and looks at me then says, “Don’t freak out but I ran into this guy Demetri, who is part of the Volturi Guard.  I became friends with him, and he told the kings about my idea, and they’re all aboard and even offering to help finance it.  Oh, and they know about Victoria.  I asked them to let you handle her because I thought it’d give you closure.  And I should warn you they plan to summon the other Cullen’s in the new year and charge them with leaving am unattended human with the knowledge of vampires.  We’ll all be asked to go to Italy to testify, but I assured them that when Aro touches you, he’ll see that you left for a week and then came back.  Similarly, Rose and Emmett came back the week after you left, though I’m pretty sure they didn’t see or smell me, but they came back to check on me.  Therefore, I think the Volturi are just going to charge Carlisle, Esme, and Edward because Alice knew what would happen and so she knew I wouldn’t say anything before being turned.  Anyway, they have promised that nothing bad will happen to any of you and you specifically won’t be made to join their guard for a few centuries, but I’m pretty sure Edward will be forced into serving because leaving was his idea and he was very insistent as you well know.”

Wow, I take in everything she just said and then asked, “Me, Peter, and Charlotte will be safe there?  They don’t want us for having been part of the Southern Wars?”

She shakes her head and says, “They may ask you for detailed accounts of your time with the bitch, but you won’t be charged or harmed.  I told them I’d end them before I allowed anything to happen to You, Peter, Charlotte, Rose, Emmett, and Alice and for the record, my power is Power Creation, which means I can create any power for myself and others.  I can keep the powers for as long as I want and remove them at will if I’ve gifted them to someone else.  I promised not to build an army and end them, and they promised to leave me and mine alone because I pointed out that all I want is to live my life in peace.  I also pointed out that all I’d have to do is think the thought and the whole Volturi Guard minus those I call friend would go up in flames without any warning.  They agreed to a truce once I promised to use my gifts to alert them to any plots to overthrow them provided they don’t mess with me.  Once I demonstrated to Demetri that I can survive fire and told him that I’ve already extended that gift to those I care about I pointed out that the Volturi would have no way of besting me.  They took three days to get back to me, but they agreed to my terms, and I used my gifts to listen in on their discussions, so I know they’re on the up and up.  I’ll be signing a treatise with them when we go, but the agreement was effective immediately, so we’re all safe.”

Peter barks out a laugh and then says, “Damn, Bella, you don’t play around do you?”

She just shakes her head so frowning I ask, “Do I want to know how you know you can survive fire?”

She smiles and says, “I had an accident in the lab, and the tips of my fingers were burnt.  I just thought them back to wholeness and then gave me and those I care about immunity to fire so now we won’t even burn in the first place and yes I checked and don’t be mad it was necessary.”

I just nod and then open the first bottle of cologne before sniffing and smiling at the scent of Bluebonnets.  Handing the bottle to Peter who inhales and grins before giving it to Charlotte who also smells it and then closes the lid, I smile at Bella and tell her, “There’s a bunch of them in the backyard here.  Although, now I don’t even need to go outside to smell them or open a window for that matter.”

We all nod so I open the last one and smile a wide grin and tell her, “Freesias and vampire.  It smells like home, and it’s my new favorite scent.”

Bella ducks her head again but says, “Aww, you’re sweet.”

I nod and tell her, “It’s true.”

She smiles and nods back, so I pick up the last box marked #1 and unwrap the rather large box.  Before I can lift the lid, she tells me, “Fair warning this actually belongs to another member of your family so they might want it back but I figured since you live together it won’t be a big deal.”

 I nod and because I’m curious about what exactly she’s talking about I open the package and move the tissue paper out of the way.  I tilt the box so Charlotte can see and tell her, “You’re included today.”  She quirks an eyebrow and leans in closer to the box to peek over the edge, and then her grin lights up her face before she says, “The nativity set you and Peter carved for me that first Christmas after you joined us!  Yay!”

I remember how sad she was when she discovered it wasn’t in the box she thought it was in and couldn’t find it.  She went through every box after they moved and could not for the life of her locate it.  Smiling I ask Bella, “Where was it?”

Still smiling she says, “The box was left behind in the crawl space you had stored all the Christmas decorations in.  It was all the way in the back and easily overlooked.  I used my gifts to find out where it was and then I broke into the house and stole it back.  The new owners of the house didn’t even know it was there.”

Charlotte leans over and envelopes Bella in a hug and tells her, “I was so upset when we lost it so thank you.  I thought of it every Christmas since that move and wished I could find it so thank you.  I don’t even care if Jasper keeps it in here, I’m just happy it’s been found and is back with our family!”

I shake my head and tell her, “I think this would look perfect on the bay window in the living room so we can all see it.”

Charlotte grins and nods before reaching into the box and taking out one of the wise men.  She looks at it for a minute and then smiles before hopping to her feet and telling Peter, “Husband of mine, let’s give Jasper and Bella a chance to catch up, and we can set up the nativity set while Bella explains everything that’s happened since she went to Port Angeles.”

Peter groans and says, “But I want to hear the story too.”

Charlotte laughs and says, “And we can hear her tell it from any room in the house and even parts of the yard so let them have the veneer of privacy, and you can ask any questions you have later.”

He reluctantly nods and stands before picking up the box and following Charlotte to the door of my bedroom.  Just before he crosses the threshold, he stops and turns back and says, “Welcome to the family Bella.”

She nods with a giant grin stretched from ear to ear and says, “Thank you, Peter.  I look forward to discovering what mischief the four of us can get up to in the future.”

He grins and nods before following Charlotte out of the room.


Sunday, December 25, 2005 (Con’t.)


I stand and reach down before taking Bella’s hand and telling her, “Let’s get comfy and then you can tell me your story.”

She nods and lets me help her up.  Then I walk her to the bed and lay down before opening my arms to her.  I chuckle when she speeds into my arms and tell her, “Relax, Bella.  We have all the time in the world now, especially if you’ve made us all invulnerable to fire.”

She nods but whispers, “I know.  I’m just so happy to be here with you.  The last three months have been really hard, but I needed the time to regroup and figure out what was what and who did what and who didn’t do what.  Then it was so close to Christmas that I decided to do The Twelve Days of Christmas early, sort of as a fun way to a.) tell you I wasn’t dead, and b.) umm, to tell you that I umm, havefeelingsforyou.”

Chuckling I pull her in tighter to my chest and tangle my legs with hers before telling her, “Relax, Bella.  I have feelings for you too.  I didn’t realize what they meant until I thought you were gone for good, but I’m in love with you and have been probably for close to the whole time we’ve known each other.”

She hugs me tighter still and reaches up and kisses my chin before settling against my chest again and saying, “So I’m not going to go too into detail about what Edward said when he broke up with me for both our sakes.  Sufficed to say he told me I was a distraction and he had grown bored with me.  Then he said I was no good for him and that I’d forget about him soon enough because human minds are like sieves.”

My arms tighten around her with every new word out of her mouth, and I ground out through clenched teeth, “He what?  I’ll tear him limb from limb!  I’ll—”

She interrupts me by kissing me which all things considered is very effective as a distraction technique.  When my anger has lessened some, she pulls away and cups my cheeks before saying, “Aro and Caius have both promised to make life as difficult for him while he serves on the guard as possible.  Nothing so bad that he’ll try to plot against them but just little annoyances that combined will get his tighty whities in a knot.”

I laugh at that, and she gives a little giggle before losing some of her smile and telling me, “I’m not happy with what he did and said.  I’m not going to lie, it hurt, a lot, but mostly I was heartbroken that you and Alice left me high and dry.  I really wish you had told me you were back, but I understand why you didn’t because while I was transitioning, well, a few minutes after the burning started I heard a soft voice say, ‘Watch and know the truth.’  I saw Victoria, James and Laurent’s histories in full and all of the Cullen’s and Whitlock’s lives in chronological order, so starting with Victoria and then Carlisle.  James was next and then you and then it sort of flashed back and forth between you and everyone else all the way up until the moment I woke a vampire.  That means I know that you only stayed gone for a week and that Alice did her best to make sure I would have everything I needed to not just survive but thrive as a vampire.  I know Emmett worried so much that he even convinced Rose to defy Edward and they both went and checked up on me, but I was already missing by then.  And I also know that Edward doesn’t just hate what he is but also hates who he is.  He hates everything about himself.  Edward really thought he’d be cursing me if he turned me.  Turns out that by abandoning me he caused the situation that led to me becoming a vampire, but I don’t hate him.  Really I pity him.  I’m mad too, and I think he’s a spoiled and selfish brat more often than not, but I don’t hate him.”

I nod, so she looks up at me and nods back before saying, “You know, I was worse than a zombie after Edward left me lost and alone in the woods.  Charlie did the best he could, and that last weekend he encouraged me to spend more time with my other friends so I made plans with them and we went to Port Angeles.”

She pauses and tightens her arms around my torso before telling me, “I wanted to go to the bookstore, and no one else wanted to go so we split up with plans to meet back up later.  I knew pretty early on that I was being followed and corralled.  I will admit, though, that my breath caught in my throat when I saw Victoria standing in front of me.”

Bella pauses and kisses my chin again before snuggling in tighter still and saying, “Turns out Victoria’s talent was seeing a person’s true desire, what they wanted most in the world.  She apparently had been watching all of us, so she knew that most of all Edward wanted me to be human and you most wanted me to still exist and be safe.  So she decided that the best revenge on Edward wouldn’t be to kill me outright but rather to turn me.  Then when you caught up with her, she told you she had killed me because she knew that would hurt you the most.”

I kiss her forehead and tell her, “It really did, and I’m not going to lie, the pain that my final death would have caused Peter and Charlotte is the only reason I didn’t try to end myself after she told me you were dead.”

She shudders and says, “Wouldn’t have worked anyway, but it would gut me if you no longer existed.”

I nod and squeeze her a little tighter before saying, “I feel the same way about you.”

She nods back and then continues her story, “So three days of memories and burning pain and then just before I woke I heard that same soft voice say, ‘Remember what you’ve seen.  Remember the one who’s always cared even when he was told not to.’  Then I woke up to a guy attempting to assault me.  I bit him and fed before killing him.  I didn’t feel guilty either, so I decided to try the criminal diet and found it works for me.”

I lean down and kiss her for a moment and then when I pull away, she giggles and says, “Clearly you enjoy doing that as much as I do, but we’ll never finish story time if we keep kissing.”

Sighing I tell her, “I’ll try to control myself, well for the time being anyhow.”

She giggles at that and nods before telling me, “So I woke up a vampire.  I knew three days had passed so I snuck home to get some of my things that I was pretty sure Charlie wouldn’t notice were missing and then I took up residence in the Cullen’s house.  I knew about the hidden money that turned out to be three million for each of you for a total of twenty-one million.  I also knew about Mr. Jenks from your memories, so I called him and told him my story, well most of it anyhow.  I told him what I needed, and he set me up with a shell corporation to house all of my assets.  I managed to access my private account that my parents didn’t know about and withdrew everything too.  Then I just sat around for a week trying to decide what to do.”

She squeezes me again and says, “I missed you and Christmas was getting closer and closer, so I came up with my Twelve Days of Christmas plan and then spent all of my time preparing the gifts and practicing my powers.  And I think you know everything else or at least the important parts.”

She squeezes me again even tighter and tells me, “I’m sorry I let you believe I was dead.”

Hugging her tightly I tell her, “No worries, Darlin’, so long as you’re not actually dead I don’t care what I thought or for how long.”

She nods and then in a soft voice she asks, “Do you think Peter and Charlotte would mind if I moved all of my stuff into the bedroom next door to this one?”

Leaning down and using my hand to tilt her chin so I can see straight into her ruby red eyes I tell her, “I don’t think they’ll mind!”

We both chuckle when we hear Peter downstairs say, “We already welcomed you into the family so consider that an open invitation to move in.”

Bella smiles and giggles before telling him, “I’m still getting used to being able to hear through the walls, but thank you.  All of my things are now in the bedroom, and I hope you don’t mind but I set up my laboratory in the unused section of the basement.”

Peter’s smile is evident in the tone of his voice when he says, “Not at all.  Like we said, welcome to the family!”

Bella says, “Thank you,” and then she kisses me before settling back down in my arms and we snuggle for who knows how long just basking in the company of the one we love and contemplating all the future has in store for us.  Bella’s plans for traveling will, as she said, take a few years to complete but I find I want to begin my life with her sooner rather than later.

Chuckling I sing, “On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… hope for a future with my Secret Santa by my side for the rest of eternity.  Merry Christmas, Bella.”

She smiles and leans up and kisses me before saying, “Merry Christmas Jasper, may we have an eternity of them to spend together.”

And then I spend the rest of the day lost in her kisses.


The End

(Until I write some out-takes of their travels together!)

 

Skills

Posted on

January 17, 2018

20 Comments

  1. together25x3

    Love Love Love it

    Reply
    • lillygray1326

      Thank you. I’m ecstatic that you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  2. Ahaneyan

    Absolutely love this and hope you continue it!!!

    Reply
    • lillygray1326

      So happy you enjoyed the story. I DO have plans for at least a few one-shot follow ups… Volterra, and some of their travels at the least.

      Reply
  3. addicted2love7

    Wow 😮…
    So lovely 💮
    Good luck
    Jackie69

    Reply
    • lillygray1326

      Thank you. So happy you enjoyed the story.

      Reply
  4. jennateewrites

    Really loved this!

    Reply
    • lillygray1326

      lol… the original version of this story had a Birthday Shout Out dedicated to YOU. I finished writing it right before your birthday and I know how much you love Jasper so I dedicated it to you. It pleases me beyond measure that you enjoyed this story. Happy Belated Birthday (Yes I know it was in December but still…lol)

      Reply
      • Kittyinaz

        I couldn’t put it in since it might give it away!!!

        Reply
        • lillygray1326

          I figured as much. Though I would like to add a suggestion for future contests. Perhaps include what fandom the story is in. I had two stories this time that people didn’t know what the fandom was and it might have helped the readers if there was just a line that said “Fandom: Moonlight”. Anyway, just a suggestion. I know it’s not usually an issue because the fandoms that get included in your contests are usually from a small group of fandoms but in case someone else or myself goes outside the box again it might be helpful to the readers.

          Reply
          • Kittyinaz

            I’ll take that into consideration!

      • jennateewrites

        Thank you so much hon. Can’t wait for the sequel!

        Reply
        • lillygray1326

          You’re welcome. I’m not sure when I’ll get to the sequel… I’m currently working on a Moonlight/True Blood Cross-over that looks to be a series of at least three stories and it’s taking up most of my writing time. I’ll be sure and let you know when I post the sequel to this.

          Reply
  5. GeezerWench

    Now Jasper should have told Edward what happened to Bella. Only fitting and richly deserved.

    Oooookay. You’d think he’d be freaking out about some stranger being in his room and knowing so much about him.

    Well, I guess we’ve figured out it’s Bella!

    And there she is!

    Reply
    • lillygray1326

      I’m contemplating having Jasper tell Edward what happened to Bella in the sequel…. and I figured Jasper’s despair over Bella’s seeming death kept him from fully reacting to the unknown person in his room.

      Reply
  6. Isisinme83

    Omg Kudos to you. This was by far so derailed and just awesome from start to finish.I love all the gifts she got him and some of the books i added to my own tbr list. All the background period was great and really drew me in and the thoughtfullness. She gave him back parts of his past. I would love to see more added to this their adventures the trial with volturi even her side of things from victoria and her dealings with the volturi. Wonder who was the voice talkong to her too during her transition. Love rhaf shes badass but still down to earth. Just want to live her life. Thanks for this great story.

    Reply
    • lillygray1326

      Thank you. I wrote it by hand because my computer was out of commission for a while so I have notebooks with lists of possible gifts and the back stories for each gift. It took me forever to figure all the gifts out and it took forever and a day to type the story up because it’s over 32,000 words long. I’m planning at least a couple more one-shots, though
      I hope none of them will be quite as long as this one… lol. I’m tickled pink that you enjoyed this story so much!

      Reply
  7. WorldTravelGirl

    Loved this! It was a great story. I would love to see what happens in Volterra!

    Reply
    • lillygray1326

      SO glad you enjoyed the story. I have plans to write at least one sequel that will include the trial and trip to Volterra.

      Reply
  8. sharbear53

    This was an awesome story. I loved it and am sad it is over.

    Reply

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