Word Count: 3,081 Words
Song I listened to for this chapter: Nothing Left To Say/Rocks by Imagine Dragons
Previously:
He then sighs. “And I wanted to bathe together. You are going to find me a very affectionate mate, mi amor. I apologize, but my momma raised me to be a gentleman and taught me how to treat a woman. Unfortunately, my beast was under the control of Maria and he is not such a gentleman. He will always be loving, but he is the one, with your own beast, that drove us both to mating right away. Not that either of them was giving us a choice. But I will woo you, my Bella. I will love you, and I will make sure that nothing will ever harm you. Will you give me this?”
And there is the question that has been bugging Jasper. He is holding his breath and waiting for her answer… The answer that will allow him to know how much he will need to grovel for her forgiveness and how their mating will be.
There is nothing more serious than her answer, and it seems as though the world is waiting for it.
Now:
Bella is looking up into Jasper’s eyes, and she can feel his emotions as though he is sending them to her, but somehow she knows that is not the case.
She can feel the other being within her that he talked about, and she turns her attention to it, feeling as though this is something she needs to do.
Looking within herself, she can feel this other side as it seems to pace inside her mind. She soon finds herself in a room and can see this new side, a catlike shadow pacing. She asks, “Who are you?”
‘You.’
Thinking, she asks, “You are me?”
‘Yes.’
Taking a risk, she says, “Do you know what is happening?”
‘Yes.’
She snorts. “And let me guess, you only know one word answers? I thought I would be more conversational with myself.”
The sound of laughter reaches her. ‘I can answer more than one word, but you haven’t asked for more.’
Bella drops to the floor into an Indian-style sitting position. “Great. I am a wise-ass to myself too. Well? What can you tell me? Jasper is out there waiting for an answer, and I have a feeling it’s a pretty important answer I need to give him.”
The shadows move then the voice comes to her. ‘You are me, and I am you. But I am the bestial side that humans keep hidden. As a vampire, you can fight me and make your life harder than it needs to be, or you can work with me and we can be powerful, unique.’
Thinking on it, she asks, “Will it help me with Jasper and to understand what is going on?”
‘Yes.’
She sighs. “And there is no point in fighting you is there?”
‘You’d be shocked at how many vampires do.’
Gnawing on her bottom lip, Bella finally says, “If you are me, then spell it out. Tell me what I need to know. You know I need to know.”
A sigh explodes from the shadows. ‘You are correct. This is what is happening: Right now, you are mated to Jasper. You will not be far from him, ever. The pain will be unbearable. But the benefits are as he said, lesser bloodlust. You both will help carry each other’s bloodlust and temper it. Jasper has already gained his natural eye color back and you will too after you decide what you will be doing. Your bodies are different. Basically, you are an evolved version of vampires. You blend in more with humans, you are able to draw them in more.’
Bella sits there taking it in. Then she asks, “And if I give in and work with you?”
The shadow…pulsed. ‘If you consent to work with me, you will actually finish the change. The last of the change is always the fight between a vampire and its human side. Our conversation right now is not normal. Normally the human is frightened and is attacking everything because in their mind they are trying to come to grips with what has happened and why there is another presence there. The year generally attributed with newborns is really the process of breaking down the human side to the extent where they can work with the vampire side, which is more animal like. Instead, you are one of a very few that has been changed by your True Mate. His influence is helping us both. I know what we need to do. His vampire side, that he actually coexists with at a level few understand, is helping us. Bella, Jasper is your other half, not Edward. He will never treat you different if you wish to be yourself. Be the self that you were until you came to that dreary town. Give him a chance. Give me a chance. What can it hurt?’
Bella thinks on it and she asks, “If I get what you’re saying, the longer we fight on this, the less intelligence I’ll have, the less everything.”
‘Yes.’
She shakes her head. “That is stupid then. And Jasper as my mate? I don’t even know him!”
‘Neither did you know Edward, and really, he did not know you.’
Sighing, Bella comments, “So it will make no difference either way will it, to fight you, the mating, him?”
‘Why would you fight yourself? Your other half of your soul, something that has already taken place? Why are you questioning this? Are you enjoying fighting with yourself, fighting what you really want?’
The shadows move closer and she can feel its breath on her, ‘Why deny to your very self that you have always been drawn to him since that day in the cafeteria. That you have dreamed of him, desired him, and only transferred it to his brother because you felt guilty for wanting him? What good is it to deny yourself the truth?’
“Because he was taken!”
‘And now you know he is yours. Why are fighting this?’
Bella lowers her head, her hair sliding around her face. “Because what happens when the real world comes back and he remembers what Alice is to him?”
There’s a huff from the shadow as it slinks in closer to where there is nothing but shadows with Bella in the middle. ‘He is yours. He is ours. Mine. No one can take him from you. Now what do you answer?’
Bella looks up and somehow, Jasper’s face is there again, with the shadows around it as they both await the answer.
“Yes.”
The roar from the shadows makes Bella seize in Jasper’s arms as it jumps into her and the two combine into a merger that has never been known in the vampire world.
Holding her to him, he feels his own beast roar and he surrenders to it, allowing them to merge to find what is happening to his mate.
The two of them remain in the cave, going through a merger that will tear apart the world as they know it. They turn and bite, each striking where their marks are, finalizing the first complete True Mating of a Bonded Pair.
Peter is enjoying himself. He grins down at his mate as they are standing upon the glass walk out on the Grand Canyon. He knows that Jasper and Bella are going to change the world, and quite frankly, he is looking forward to it.
He had already gathered the supplies the two of them will need. Charlotte had asked him Bella’s size to make sure she will be comfortable. She already knows what Bella looks like, but to be truthful, her mate is much better at guessing sizes.
Right now they are waiting, and they both stiffen as a vision comes to Charlotte. A snapshot is all she gets, but with Peter’s knowing, it is enough. They grin and head back to the rest of the coven.
James is sitting there with Victoria between his legs, waiting. When he sees them coming back, he raises an eyebrow. “Can we get them now? I cannot tell you how much I want to shower and get a haircut.”
Peter laughs at him. “You’re just happy that your so called nomad days are over. But you know Jasper is going to hurt you for what you did to Bella, right?”
Frowning as he looks off in the distance, he nods. “I expect it. But I am glad we found her and that she broke the hold those two had over him. I am glad to be able to shed this disguise. I haven’t been this man in decades. To be able to be ourselves…” He sighs and holding his mate close to him, he nuzzles into her.
Victoria laughs. “When are you going to take out those horrid contacts?”
Peter laughs as he looks out and pinpoints the canyon they will need to make their way towards. “I think he likes the way red eyes look on him.”
James snarls as he reaches up and takes them out, flinging them away from him. “It really is okay?”
Looking back at him from over his shoulder, Peter tells him, “Yes. Jasper is mated. He is now not just himself, but somehow, Bella has made it to where he is the God of War now. He is fully one with his beast as she is with hers. Our coven is complete.”
He then arches his eyebrow, “You did take care of Laurent, right?”
James lets out an evil chuckle. “Yep. The Volturi’s little spy is taken care of. Why did we need him around all that time?”
Victoria laughs. “So they won’t suspect a thing. You know they were told by the little seer what would happen if the coven formed. So Laurent was added to us in order to make sure it didn’t.”
Charlotte is grinning as she heads to the truck and grabs a couple of duffel bags, tossing them to Peter and James. “They had no idea that Peter has been one step ahead of them the entire time.”
Peter kisses her head when she comes up and wraps her arms around him. “They don’t know what True Mates are capable of. And Jasper and Bella? No idea at all. They are the first to fully mate as a Bonded Mate pair. Now, let’s get them, because if we don’t the mind-raper is going to get close and it is not time for Jasper and him to meet yet.”
With that, the group is gone within the next second, only the wind leaving witness to their passing.
Jasper moans as he opens his eyes. He can feel his mate underneath him and he is trying to remember what happened.
While he is trying to remember, his hands and nose are already busy making sure Bella is fine and a smile comes as he feels her doing the same to him.
“Bella?”
She looks up from her check on him, and looking into his green eyes, she sees his widen.
He reaches out and cups her face and looks. “How?”
She chuckles. “According to my beast, it is because I agreed to work with it from the beginning. And it is only possible because of you. So thanks.”
He just shakes his head. “Life is sure going to be different with you, darlin’.” He then pulls her closer for a kiss and tells her huskily, “And you’re not goin’ to hear me complainin’.”
She grins shyly to him and reaches up to him. “Jasper, what is going to happen now?”
He rubs his face into her hand and gives her a grin with dimples. “Depends on you, mi amor, and what you are wanting. I am here for you. You are my biggest concern.”
She looks down, and his hand is quickly there to raise her face to his. “None of that. I get to see these beautiful brown eyes for the rest of our lives. Plus, there is nothing I want more than to really look at you. The brief time we had when I talked to you in the hotel was not enough. Shit, for the rest of eternity will be too brief.”
She shakes her head. “I told you that I accepted the Mating, there is no need for you to sweet talk me.”
His grin breaks out, and his hand moves to run through her hair. “Darlin’ this is not sweet talking you, this is me telling you the truth. Get used to it.”
Jasper then grins at her as he moves, and finds that they still fit together perfectly. Unashamed of his need for her, he thrusts into her, his hand moving to her legs to pull them around his hips.
Bella gasps as her body arches.
He leans down and kisses her, letting his affection, desire, lust and even the love he feels for her to flow through, making sure she knows exactly how he feels. He pulls back his head and his cock just enough to be able to thrust back in as he tells her, “My Bella. Fuck, you feel so good. Thank you.” Each word is accompanied by a thrust from his hips.
Unable to get past the pure pleasure, a purr comes from her, and an answering one comes from Jasper. He is soon kissing down her jaw, and he licks her mark, smirking when he hears and feels her pleasure. This mating will be a quick one, but only because he senses Peter getting closer.
With that in mind, he is soon going faster, making sure his mark on her thigh is being rubbed. He wished that he had known that earlier would be the only time he was able to mark her like that, but truth be told, he is pleased with his handiwork.
His mate is closely approaching her orgasm and it is all from him and his motions. He swivels his hips as he is soon pounding into her. He growls, sitting back on his heels, bringing her up on him, thrusting harder and faster, driving them both to that edge he is feeling.
Bella’s eyes are closed, then all of a sudden they snap open and meet his as they both tumble off the edge. His growl of victory rings out through the canyon, his fangs coming down along with hers.
He rests his forehead against hers, both of them connected as intimately as any couple can be, both of them gasping.
Bella is the first to catch her breath. “Is it always going to be like this?”
Not able to help the smirk that comes to his lips, he tells her, “Better if I can make it, Darlin’.” He leans forward and captures her lips with his and he kisses her possessively. “Thank you,” he murmurs right above her lips and kisses her softer. Her lips answer his, both of them content in that moment, connected to each other.
But too soon, life came crashing in with Peter’s voice echoing to them, “So Major, when you going to grab this stuff so we can take your mate somewhere more classy? Which shouldn’t be hard with you starting out like this.”
Jasper’s growl sounds out and Peter laughs. He tosses in the bags, telling him, “Blood bags in the first one, clothing for you and your mate in the second. We will be waiting for you, so no fuckin’s, ya hear?”
Another growl sounds out and Peter yips as Charlotte slaps him behind the head. “No embarrassing her, you dumb hick.”
Laughter sounds as the coven members grin before they all take up positions, guarding their leaders as they get dressed.
Jasper kisses her one final time and sitting her carefully down on the side of the pool, grabs the bags. He opens the one with the blood and tosses one to her. He tells her, “Use your fangs to pierce it and drink from it.”
He watches her, and when she starts drinking, he spares a look to see how many blood bags are in the duffel. Counting, he raises his eyebrows. He picks it up, and brings her another one when she finishes the current one.
She grabs it and is soon drinking it and then another after it. But then, she notices he has not had any and she stops.
He smiles and tells her, “I’ll drink when you are done.” When she started to protest, he reached up and cupped her face. “It’s instinct, mi amor. As my mate, I make sure you are satisfied before I eat. And you can’t fool me, so drink up.” He watches as she goes back to drinking. He chuckles, then goes to grab the last duffel bag.
Opening up, he smiles to see what he considers normal clothes. He grabs them and dresses quickly, watching his mate all the while. When he senses her getting satisfied, he grabs her clothes and is by her side.
She watches him, then hands him the bag she had been drinking from. Watching him grin, he puts his fangs in and is drinking from it. He watches as she looks through the clothing, then nodding, she puts them on.
He finishes with the blood bags quickly. He doesn’t need as much as she did, and he is pleased with how she handled dressing herself. He still had his old clothing in case she ripped through anything, but instead, he places the empty blood bags in the empty clothing duffel, placing the other one in it too along with his old clothes.
Bella laughs at his sneer. “I never thought those were your type.”
He shook his head as he holds out his hand for her. “Never my style. And that is going to be the first thing we find out. How the hell did I get so fucked up?”
He had been walking with her out of the cave and Peter appeared before them, walking up slowly. He had been careful not to startle her, knowing that Jasper would literally have his head if he did. “I told you she wasn’t yer mate, Major.”
Jasper grins. “Peter. Is everything ready?”
At his nod, Jasper looks to his mate. “I’ll introduce you to everyone soon, darlin’. But for now, let’s get out of here.”
As she smiles, Peter takes the bag from Jasper, and soon the coven is making its way out of the canyons, heading quickly for Nevada.
Final Count: 3,112 words
Fairfarren~
how come they have green and brown eyes and not red any hew i love this ch please update again soon please i love this story
Because they are true mates. In my story, True mates get their eye colors back and so on. They are the evolved vampires, but so rare in their world.
Hi, I’ve read this story 100 times.and would really love to see where you take it! Any chance as a Christmas present to you’re fans you’ll continue for us??? Pretty pretty please??? lol.
P.S. Love all you’re writing. This just happens to be my favourite. You’re very talented!
Plz continue this story it is so good
I believe it is due to when they find their true mate that get their original eye color back.
Excellent so far! Can’t wait for more 🙂 I’m working my way through a lot of your stories, and so far I am very impressed. You are a great author!
yay … on to Vegas? more more more I want more more more … 🙂
I love the concept of mates in your story! Especially the advantages to being turned by your true mate. And my little heart went pitter-patter when Jasper thanked Bella during and after their coupling. It’s such an odd thing to hear during that time, but with Jasper it was so sweet and perfect. Love, love, love it!
I love this story! I’m glad that Bella embraced her inner beast. Can’t wait till the next update!
Loved hearing her inner beast. Dayum your Peter is f’hawt
Love the idea your using with mating and can’t wait to learn the ends and outs of it!
The beast needing to be accepted to be fully mated makes so much sense! I love it. The mating isn’t so bad either lol.
Thanks for the update!
What a great chapter!!! Can’t wait for more. Thanks.
More please
I loved it!!!! 😉
love the chapter: Can’t wait for more
Can’t wait for more.
Expertly delivered. Cant wait to see what kind of crap thing 1 and thing 2 have been perptrating…
This is awesome! I also think you could get away with posting your chapters as is on fanfiction. It isn’t that they don’t slow sex scenes. It’s that they don’t ant them over graphic, and yours are very tame. Especially compared to others I have read.
Absolutely love this story! I can’t wait for the next chapter!
Hi, loving this story, even migrated over from fanfiction.net to read this full version. Hope its not too long til the next updates to this and Every Dark Night…
Couldn’t resist commenting on this… the guy you picked for Peter (yummy choice btw), Jeremy Renner, well though he’s currently known for the Avengers movie he has actually played a vampire before, in an episode of Angel. He was Angel’s childe, Penn.
Definitely showing my inner(&outer) nerd here… but I thought it was interesting.
Anyway, love your stories :o)
I am absolutely loving this story! Excited to see where you take it! Thanks for sharing your writing with us!
Have read on your site and ff. your site is so much better. have been waiting for the next chapter for a while. please post. have done a great job. keep it up.
Love this story
I love where you are taking this story its great!! Jasper being a more of a dominant person has always made more sense to me. Please update soon, cant wait to read more!!!
I love how his eyes are green. Can’t wait for more Wendy. This is a really good story.
First read chapter five in August its now October. Are you ever coming back to this story. It is a really good story. Please start back up soon or let us know what you’re “planned” schedule might be 🙂 thanks.
One of my all time fave stories from a different author hasn’t been updated in over a year. One if my fave published book series has been waiting 10 years for the final book. I. The scheme of things, 2 months ain’t bad. As one of Wendy’s betas, I tend to get a tad protective of her since I know what she is dealing with in real life. This will be finished, that’s a promise, but since Fanfiction is an unpaid hobby, it tends to have to take a back seat to real life.
Hi Alma! As the beta for this story, I’m eager for more too, but as I’m sure you saw with missron80’s comment here and Wendy’s post on the homepage real life is hitting hard right now and all stories are in a holding process. That does not mean any of them will be abandoned, however. In her spare time, Wendy is working hard to write ahead on all 18-ish stories she has going right now, but let’s face it – that’s a lot of stories! The only planned schedule we have is that Wendy take care of herself and family first and come back to fanfiction when she can. It’s hard to wait, but our patience will be rewarded! And please rest assured that we’ve not forgotten this awesome story! 😀
So sorry about the Cancer, have dealt with it in my family as well ,in its many forms. It’s a nasty piece of work however you look at it. When I asked my question I wasn’t aware of what was going on. The only story I follow of hers is ‘When I Pretend”.
I love this story. Hope you post soon.
Sorry about the cancer.
I hope you update again soon!! Love your stories.
Just found this story and I love it!
really like this story! love your concept of mates and your overall twist of the whole story….would really like to read more of it…pls continue
I tell in love with your story. I cannot wait to read more. I’m dying to know how some of the Cullens were able to decieve the Major for so long. I’m also dying to read what I’m sure will be an epic fight scene between Fuckward and the God of War. Can’t wait for your next update. Keep up the great work!!!
I love this story I hope you a update soon because this has become an interesting mystery between what pixie and penny head have been up to and why they are talking to the volturi I think it’s going to be interesting to find out as well as the changes bella and jasper will bring to the vamp world hehe update soon. Ciao
Please upload more soon x
love it. I hope that you can add more, can’t wait to see what happens
Really love this story! Your concept of Mates is great. Can’t wait to find out how Jasper was turned into a squirrel sucking zombie and not our Major.
I am truly thrilled that I found this fic! AMAZING WRITING HON! I adore each of the characters you have created here and the whole True Mate concept! Please, please, please come back and update soon, I am on the edge of my seat wanting to see what happens next! Plus, this Jas & Bella pairing is smoking hot, can’t get enough! ;o)
Please please please post more chapters! I absolutely love this story. Strong Jasper/Major is such a turn on 🙂 The back story and bonded mates mythology is intriguing. You also hint that Carlisle may not be a pussy… Please, you’ve made us wait long enough. Reward us, your patient readers, with new chapters.
please please update soon i love the way this jasper is
Love this story. Really like the True Mate differences. Can’t wait for more.
Please come back and add more soon 🙂
hi i love this story so far and how the bonded mates work cant wait for your next update and i hope it is real soon xx
please please update! i want to know what happens next
Thank you for writing and sharing. Hope to see an update soon.
I’m really loving this story so far, and can’t wait to read more of it…thanks, huggs
Once again, amazing story. Are you done with it already?
Nope. But it will be a little bit until I can get to it. I have quite a few I am working on, and this one is barely starting.
Great story! Love the fresh perspective in it. Can’t wait to be able to read this to the end.
Are you ever coming back here? I loved this beginning and want to see where you take it.
Yes, after What if is completed. This is the more fun of the two strictly twilight fics, and What if will need it. I’m giving into my muse, but she has driven me nuts with What if….
Please update soon
Excellent so far! Can’t wait for more 🙂 I’m working my way through a lot of your stories, and so far I am very impressed. You are a great author!
Sorry … i accidentally put this comment as a reply above! My first review with a username :-/
Looking forward to reading the rest of this .can’t wait to see what they will be doing to the wannabe humons starting with lil Eddie then Mystic Meg.need to take out Daddy C very slowly since he is an idiot playing at coven leader.
This is so very different and unique. I love anything Bella/ NOT twatward! But especially the REAL Major! And to have James and Victoria as Jasper’s coven mates, too, even better. I always thought Cam was underrated and ill used. But no matter how horrid she acted in the series, I still picture K.S. as Bella, she is a beautiful woman and can look very bad ass, where L.M. just looks too sweet for me. Thank you, for this piece of art, it’s excellent! Can’t wait for more, but I understand RL can be a b*tch!
This is definitely one of my favs, and so are you. You’re writing is amazing. I love What If, too. I keep rereading them. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you’ll be able to update soon. 😀
Awesome chapter!!
Rereading this again. Still love it! 🙂
Any idea when this story will be updated?
I am working on a few things. I am trying to get What If done before this. I already know if I makes things a certain way, or find out something, it can change my impressions on a story. It happened with What If because of Every Dark Night. So I want to finish What If, then I will work on this one. Believe me, I want to work on this one, it is much more easier than What If!
I can’t wait till you get back to this story! Jasper is so yummy!
hopr you update this and all your other twilight, tvd and true blood fics soon
I love the new ideas about vampire mating in this story. The fact that Jasper was under some kind of “spell” is also intriguing. Hope you get to it soon, but I’m happy with everything you write.
j’aime beaucoup cette histoire , surtout bella qui a accepter le lien mate bond, j’ai hâte de voir ce que ce coven va faire aux cullen et volturi, merci a vous
I have to tell you that after this week (and all I have been reading on this blog) I am a big fan. I have been reading fanfiction for years and there are a lot of unfinished stories out there. I understand that we the readers love these stories and want them all finished. But the reality is that real life happens. The muse gets lost. Other stories get more attention. That is the nature of the beast and if you love fanfiction as I do you just accept it. I hope that your muse comes back to this and many other fine stories on this site. What ever you publish here I will read with pleasure. Thank you for all your hard work. Even if you never come back to write her I have a feeling I will reread these stories with enjoyment.
Absolutely fantastic story! I found the first chapter on FanFiction.net and had to come find this to read it! It’s fabulous!!! Keep up the awesome work!
Just read this and OMG I love this… LOVE it! I look forward to seeing where you plan to go with this in the future. I love your version of Mates and True Bonded Mates! I also love that James and Victoria are part of Jasper’s Coven… I don’t think I’ve ever read that before and I actually just started (2016-012-18) a Jasper/Bella fic that had James as part of Jasper’s Coven, sort of, and I had thought until just now that not many people, if any, had done that angle. I love your version of it though. Can’t wait to go read the rest of your stories that I have yet to read!
I think this is my third time to read this, LOL. I sincerely love this, and What If. I know you have tons of stories in the works, but I can’t wait until both of these stories are complete cuz I know I’ll read them over and over.
Love the story please continue with the story when you can
I’m loving this story. So much better than any other fanfiction I have read with Bella being with Jasper. I’m going to read What If to see if I like that and to know when it is done.
Fantastic!!! Love Wonderful Jasper/Bella stories and this is for Sure Wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing and writing this!!! Thank you!!
Just reread for the umpteenth time still makes the heart rate go off the charts. Will be so ready when you’re able to get back to this story and take off with it. The Cullen’s are in so much trouble in my imagination, can’t wait to see what you have in store for us.
I love this story.
I love it!!! I’M SO really in LoVE with it!!!! Please don’t tell it’s finish?? Where’s the rest of the story??? When will you update it??
Awesome read. Please, pretty please. continue?
This is a really great story and I can’t wait to read more.
I have read this awhile ago and i still think it could be the best Twilight story ever. Pls come back and write more. Its very unique and out of my 444 Bella and jasper stories i have this could be my favorite
OMG … I just wrote and lost an incredibly lengthy “review” full of reminders justifying and attempting to encourage your Muse to return to this story. And my stupid phone ate it before I could complete and submit it. Ugh … .
Now I’m too aggravated to rewrite it all out again with one finger. So let me just say AGAIN that I love this story and “What If” and “Wisdom etc.” I.e., your pure Twilight stories involving Jasper, Caius and Carlisle .
Rereading these for years, relying on your promises to never abandon. What a lovely Holiday treat it would be to receive new chapter alerts for “WIP” and “WI”!!! 🙂
Still waiting and hoping. Best wishes to you and yours.
plz update
I loved this story. Please please please continue it soon.
Please please please finish this story.
Another fantastic chapter well done
i read this story again every time i come back to this site. i LOVE Jasper so much and he is so sexy. i like Jeremy Renner as Peter but i have a hard time thinking of him as sexy. he lived across the street from me when he was a little boy. he looks like his dad who was a total jerk.
Are you going to be continuing with this wonderful fanfiction.
Love this story still, please do another Chapter soon please
Love it!
I love this story. I hope there will be future chapters. Is she giving up?
Please when you get the chance please please update soon. This story is fantastic so far !
Will you be writing more? Please??
It will be awhile. Right now I am going through Surgeries to correct stuff with Chronic foot pain. Needless to say, I am in too much pain or doped out of my mind to think of doing writing.
Hopefully tour better soon cant wait for this to be finished love your books reread them all the time